Ryan Report: VP candidate crashes the Ryan Game

Cold, Hard Football Facts for Aug 12, 2012



 


By Patrick Imig (@patrickimig)
Cold, Hard Football Facts Aussie history major


Mitt Romney named Paul Ryan (R-WI) his vice president to-be on Saturday. Ryan's politcal rise marks another successful branch on the extended Ryan Family Tree, which will be the subject of today's match game.

Newspapers have crossword puzzles, we have match games about people with the last name Ryan.

Our game also includes famed sports columnist and ESPN personality Bob Ryan, who conveniently wrote his farewell column Sunday in the Boston Globe, and defensive coordinator Rob Ryan, who will be on the sidelines when his Dallas Cowboys visit the Oakland Raiders Monday night in nationally televised pre-season football.

Many of you will be happy to know that the VP candidate has a history of selling and distributing beef and pork products. Ryan once worked as a salesman for Oscar Mayer in Minnesota.

He promoted and sold bacon as well as the new-at-the-time "Lunchables" to supermarkets. He also drove the Wienermobile once.

Our internal polling data suggests Cold Hard Football Facts constituents view this fact "favorably" as pork and beef distribution has long rated high on scales of "credibility" and in "man-of-the-people points" for public figures.

The lesson to be learned in all of this: if anyone running for political office wants to get our attention, he'll be frying and eating bacon along with an assortment of other fine beef and pork products. Hint hint.

Let's test your knowledge of the extended Ryan family.  


THE RYAN FAMILY MATCH GAME

Match each Ryan family member number to the letter with the description that most applies. The winner will be the first person to complete the test with a perfect score and will receive a counterfeit, autographed Chad Johnson sock puppet, which may or may not be detained by police.

You have 5 minutes. Talk it out. Good luck.


A. Once suffered a heart attack resulting in a double coronary bypass.

B. Served as a Sergeant in the Korean War.

C. From an Irish Catholic family.

D. Thinks he's a better coach than his brother.

E. Has lived in Wisconsin since 1974.

F. Studied journalism at the University of Connecticut and New York University.

G. Once killed a prison guard in Australia.

H. 4th generation Wisconsin native who played pickup basketball games with D.C. sports bogger and blogger Dan Steinberg.

I. Has two first names.*

J. Shares his first name with Ronald Reagan's White House dog.

K. Graduated with a degree in History from Boston College.

L. His first college start came as a true freshman against a Big 10 team.

* You're right; that's an unfair description.


RYAN FAMILY MATCH GAME ANSWERS

1 - J, Rex

2 D, Rob

3. I, Sam

4. L, Tim

5. C, Matt

6. A, Nolan

7. F, Meg

8. K, Bob

9. E, Bo

10. H, Paul

11. B, Buddy

12. G, Ronald**

** Ronald Ryan was the last person ever executed in Australia. You weren't supposed to know that one. But if you guessed right or majored in Australian criminology in college, give yourself a gold star.

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