Deep-fried Buffalo bacon cheeseballs

 

This is one of those times: our very own Chief Troll was cruising down the street in the Pigskin Ford pick-up recently when a vision washed over him like the hot showers he takes once a month. It was as if the Gods of Tailgating themselves were channeling their artery-clogging wisdom through him:

 

Take some cheese, wrap it in bacon, toss it in the deep fryer, and then douse it with some Buffalo sauce. Talk about heaven. It's literally the greatest addition to tailgating since the postgame BYOB nudie bar. And you sure as hell can't deep fry a nudie bar.

 

Here's how it's done.

 

Shred cheese, and then form into 8 small balls, about 1½ inches in diameter. Set aside. Fry bacon until almost done, but not crispy. It must be flexible. Let the bacon cool. Mix the eggs with a dash of water to make an egg wash. Pour bread crumbs into a pan. Wrap bacon around the cheeseballs. If it doesn't want to stay, you can use a little extra shredded cheese as a kind of natural glue. It should stay eventually. Worst-case scenario, use a toothpick to hold the bacon in place. Dip the cheeseballs in the egg wash, and then coat in the bread crumbs. Heat cooking oil (canola, peanut, whatever works for ya) to 350 degrees. Deep fry the cheeseballs in the oil about 1 to 2 minutes. Bread crumbs should be nice and browned, but not burnt. Remove and drain on paper towels or, best bet, on paper plates (there will be some oil that runs off). Serve with a side of Buffalo sauce for dipping and eat 'em while they're hot. Serves 2 to 4.