By Jonathan Comey
Cold, Hard Football Facts 34th Ballot Hall of Famer
For fans of the Steelers and Packers, the 2010 season is still thick with intrigue and excitement. For the other 30 teams, it's next year already.
While the disappointment is too fresh in some cities for much other than beery reflection on what might have been, hope is surely raising its intoxicating head in others.
Neither of this year's Super Bowl teams made it even to the final eight last year, so the optimism is real. Assuming common sense prevails and labor peace is reached, every team is at least theoretically a big move away from contention.
Well, being fans of the future and past in equal measures, we thought it'd be fun to officially turn reality off for a second and think big. What if the 30 non-Super Bowl teams were allowed to draft one Hall of Fame from history that would get them to the big game next year in the speediest fashion. This isn't best player available, necessarily, it's "Who does this team most need to be good next year?"
We'll proceed in the official finishing order used for the 2011 draft.
And with the No. 1 pick, the Carolina Fantasyland Panthers select ...
John Elway, QB
Is Elway the greatest player of all time, worthy of the No. 1 pick in a re-draft? Probably not. But you know he could move around, play in any system, win a game single-handedly and generally make you a Super Bowl threat every year. The Panthers, who had a pretty decent defense and offensive line would have probably won 10 games with Elway at the helm in 2010.
Denver Broncos: Joe Greene, DT
The Broncos are a mess defensively, and their No. 29 rank on the Defensive Hog Index cries out for Mean Joe. In the Broncos' new 4-3 defense, put Mean Joe inside and convert Elvis Dumervil to a defensive end and you've got something to be excited about. Plus, Tebow.
Buffalo Bills: Sammy Baugh, QB/DB
Well, the Bills would probably be better served trading down in this draft and getting multiple selections – they have more holes than any team in the NFL. But why not take Slingin' Sammy, the
Pigskin Messiah himself? You know he'd laugh at the bad weather in Buffalo, he could fill holes on offense and on defense, and would be the most beloved player in team sports history. The Bills would have to explain instant replay and plastic helmets and such, but he's a quick learner.
Cincinnati Bengals: Reggie White, DE
It's still a bit amazing to think that Reggie is no longer with us. He'd be turning 50 next year, and he was truly one of a kind as a player and a person. You could argue that he was the most impactful defensive player of all time, and the Bengals could use one of those. The Bengals were 24th in forcing Negative Pass Plays, and with a very solid back seven they'd get a big boost from the "Minister of Defense."
Arizona Cardinals: Kurt Warner, QB
Could there be any other choice? Watching the Cardinals flail around in 2010 with a succession of can't-hold-Warner's-jock pretenders was painful for all of Arizona's fans (Hi, Bob!). Adding prime Warner to the 2011 team might not get them a Lombardi Trophy, but it'd sure get them an NFC West title.
Cleveland Browns: John Hannah, G
You saw enough from Colt McCoy, Peyton Hillis and the defense to have hope that this team isn't far away. You could argue that adding a receiver would make a bigger impact, but if you lined Hannah up next to Joe Thomas on the left side of that line, opposing defenses would never be able to stop the Browns' running game. They'd get 5.1 yards on every play and dominate the clock.
San Francisco 49ers: Steve Young, QB
Young or Montana? Montana or Young? While Montana may have been the more clutch quarterback, and a great West Coast technician and leader, the 2010 Niners didn't exactly have the horses up front to give Montana the time he needs. So, Young's a better choice: mobile, mercurial, still a leader and Hall of Famer.
Tennessee Titans: Dan Marino, QB, Miami
Tennessee was let down more by its defense than anything this year. But when Kerry Collins and Rusty Smith are your quarterbacks it's time for an upgrade. Marino would have some really nice targets in Kenny Britt, Nate Washington and Justin Gage, and he certainly never had anyone like Chris Johnson while he was trying to win games single-handedly in Miami.
Dallas Cowboys: Dick "Night Train" Lane, CB
The Cowboys were a mess in 2010, but even as they're presently composed they'll be a threat in 2011. Now, imagine if they added the great Night Train Lane to their secondary – which ranked 29th in Defensive Passer Rating and completely undermined what was a solid team. Lane was not only a big-play maker but a great tackler, a combination of Deion Sanders and Antoine Winfield. Jerry Jones is already looking at the cloning technology such a move would entail.
Washington Redskins: Roger Staubach, QB
The Redskins need a steady hand at quarterback to go with Mike Shanahan's mastermindery, and who is more solid than Staubach. A leader of men, mobile, great arm, the best passer of his generation, he'd add instant credibility to a franchise badly in need of it. You do have to wonder if he wouldn't throw up at the sight of himself in red and yellow in the mirror, though.
Houston Texans: Rod Woodson, DB
This is a no-brainer. Houston's pass defense has been a nightmare for years, and no amount of attempting to fix it has worked. The solution? Woodson, who was a great cornerback and a great safety, and would instantly improve this team by five wins. Oh, and he'd be one of the best punt returners in the league, too.
Minnesota Vikings: Ronnie Lott, DB
Sure, the Vikings need a quarterback. But when you've got a player as good as Adrian Peterson in the backfield, a franchise QB is preferred but not essential. What is essential is an enforcer in the secondary. Teams are always able to exploit the Minnesota middle, but with Ronnie Lott and his 9.8 fingers ready to lay a lick, you'd have to think twice – which would be enough time for Jared Allen, Ray Edwards and Kevin Williams to sack the QB.
Detroit Lions: Jack Lambert, LB
The Lions are looking pretty good up front these days, but their linebackers were a pretty woeful bunch. Imagine being able to send Ndamukong Suh on his angry path to the QB knowing that Lambert was waiting behind him to pick up and intimidate the pieces that slipped by.
St. Louis Rams: Jerry Rice, WR
The Rams can hardly believe their luck. The G.O.A.T., in gold and blue? What a dream come true that would be for a team that relied on the indestructible Danny Amendola to move the ball in 2010. Amendola is a nice story, but after watching him turn in two of the NFL's 31 greatest all-purpose yardage seasons of all time, it's clear that the Rams need some weapons. Bradford to Rice? Sounds like a Super Bowl combo.
Miami Dolphins: Joe Montana, QB
The Dolphins can hardly believe their luck. Joe Cool, in teal and orange? This Miami team seemed to have a lot going for it, but simply couldn't convert yards into points – the Dolphins were 31st in the Scoreability Index, sabotaging their many other strengths. With a franchise left tackle and good receivers already in the mix, Montana would give Miami what Dan Marino couldn't: a title.
Jacksonville Jaguars: Merlin Olsen, DT
The No. 31 Defensive Hogs have been drafting D-linemen for the last few years with little success. Adding Olsen, one of the most reliable and best interior players in NFL history, would remove some of the guesswork in a hurry.
Oakland Raiders: Dan Rooney, owner
What, you thought the Raiders needed players? They've got a pretty good nucleus going there ... except for the fact that no one wants to play for Al Davis anymore. Or coach for him. Or hear him talk. Or see his team play. This nonsense certainly wouldn't have happened on the Rooney family's watch.
San Diego Chargers: Vince Lombardi, coach
Sorry, Norv. We've
slammed you so frequently that we probably owe your entire family a formal apology. But the chance to add the greatest coach and motivator of all time is just too much to ignore. It's interesting to think of how Lombardi's theories would work in today's NFL. But he'd figure something out. That's a given.
New York Giants: Dick Butkus, MLB
The Giants were one of the best-balanced teams in the league across our Quality Stats this year, and they are in decent shape in all of their units. While MLB Jonathan Goff was pretty good this past year, adding Butkus to the middle of the Giants' 4-3 with all of the bodies up front and in the secondary would be a Super Bowl move.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Mike Singletary, MLB
Oh yeah, he likes this kind of party! Barrett Ruud quietly took a step back in the Bucs' defense despite a good overall year, and Singletary would instantly shore up a group of Defensive Hogs that should have been much better in 2010. All things being equal, you'd rather have Hall of Fame linebacker Singletary than mediocre head coach Singletary.
Kansas City Chiefs: Lee Roy Selmon, DL
The Chiefs got some great play from their linebackers this year, and the offense was impressive as well. But their picks on the defensive line (Tyson Jackson and Glenn Dorsey) haven't really panned out – which wouldn't be a problem with Selmon. He could play inside or out, provide pass rush on the D-line and also stuff the run.
Indianapolis Colts: Don Hutson, WR
It's interesting that Peyton Manning has never had a real deep threat during his years in Indy. Well, welcome Hutson, the all-time greatest big-play threat in NFL history. Give this guy a year with modern training techniq

ues and he and Manning would be the greatest hookup of all time. It would also spare the world endless views of the "Manning Face."
Philadelphia Eagles: Mike Ditka, TE
Brent Celek is a decent tight end, but imagine the sight of Iron Mike Ditka delivering punishing blocks or slipping out while Michael Vick scrambles to catch a 25-yard pass. A quartet of Vick-McCoy-Ditka-DeSean Jackson would be the best in the league, and Andy Reid would figure out how to make Philly's offense so good that they'd be untouchable.
New Orleans Saints: Walter Payton, RB
We thought about giving Drew Brees the truly great wide receiver he's never had. But instead he gets the best all-around back in NFL history. Coach Sean Payton has done his best to piece together the ultimate running back from a bunch of dudes; he could save three roster spots and get back to the promised land with "Cousin Walter" on the roster.
Seattle Seahawks: Jim Brown, RB/FB
The Seahawks are in "best available player" mode, and Brown is certainly the best available player in any draft. If you were impressed by
Marshawn Lynch's epic touchdown run against the Saints a couple of weeks back, imagine watching Brown do it every week for a giddy Pete Carroll. It's a bit tough to imagine Brown in those horrible Seahawk uniforms, though. They might have to redesign them in Brown's honor.
Baltimore Ravens: Troy Aikman, QB
Sorry, Joe Flacco, but you're not getting it done. Clearly, the Ravens need the unflappable, championship quarterback Flacco isn't yet – think Aikman would short-arm a fourth down pass with the game on the line? Flacco gets a lot of credit for his even keel, but it's a bit too even. Aikman would bring some fire to go with his ice, something the otherwise Super Ravens need badly.
Atlanta Falcons: Deion Sanders, CB
The Falcons have some good cornerbacks, but they were still so-so in pass defense and could use the original shut-down corner in Sanders. You also get one of the best returners of all time, a wide receiver in a pinch, the MVP of your summer softball game and the biggest diamond earrings in the locker room. Jerry Glanville sold separately.
New England Patriots: Lawrence Taylor, OLB
The Patriots do seem to have a surprising number of needs for a team coming off a 14-2 season, and the maturation of their young players will likely solve some of the problems. But, in a scenario that Bill Belichick may actually daydream about from time to time, the return of LT to his defense would almost certainly be the final piece in a championship puzzle.
Chicago Bears: Bruce Matthews, OL, USC
The Bears and the league's worst Offensive Hogs really could use a couple of Bruce Matthewses. But just one would go a long way toward shoring up some brutally bad blocking efforts. Play him at center, guard, or tackle. But make sure you run behind him on every play. Say what you will about Jay Cutler, but he was good enough to get the Bears to the NFC title game behind the worst O-line in the league this year.
New York Jets: Earl Campbell, RB
We'll take Rex Ryan at his word and assume that Mark Sanchez is going to keep getting better and become a franchise QB. But the Jets are best when they're running the ball down your throat, something they didn't really do enough of this year. Add big Earl in place of the aging LT and the up-and-down Shonn Greene and the AFC championship game plateau will be a thing of the past.