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Articles tagged "Naughty Nurse"

Naughty Nurse breaks down the Seattle Seahawks

Cold, Hard Football Facts for July 9, 2012

Pete Carroll's crew won five of six games down the stretch last year. Did a strong finish set up Seattle for a promising run in 2012? Diagnostician Adam Dobrowolski analyzes the vitals signs scanned by our Naughty Nurse of analysis.

Naughty Nurse: St. Louis Rams health is offensive

Cold, Hard Football Facts for June 5, 2012

Even the patient with obvious and quite offensive ailments needs a check-up. Cue up the repugnant St. Louis Rams. Diagnostician Adam Dobrowolski examines the dirty details in St. Louis, a team in need of a new attitude.

Naughty Nurse: Washington Redskins sick in the head

Cold, Hard Football Facts for May 4, 2012

The Washington Redskins suffered through another disappointing season in 2011. Can Robert Griffin III cure the ills for a team whose problems begin at the head of the organization?

Naughty Nurse: Philadelphia Eagles haunted by cold sweats

Cold, Hard Football Facts for April 22, 2012

The Philadelphia Eagles and their fans woke up in cold sweats last year after the 'Dream Team' produced a nightmare 8-8 season in 2011. Our Naughty Nurse examines the tired, hollow-eyed patient with help from diagnostician Adam Dobrowolski.

Naughty Nurse: Coughlin's Giants difficult to diagnose

Cold, Hard Football Facts for April 14, 2012

Our Naughty Nurse was ready to treat the New York Giants for numerous ailments back in December. But thanks to another super and unexpected playoff run, the 2012 prognosis for the Super Bowl XLVI champs is good, depending how one looks at it.

Naughty Nurse: Minnesota Vikings long recovery

Cold, Hard Football Facts for April 2, 2012

The Minnesota Vikings collapsed so quickly in 2011 that our Naughty Nurse had to rush in with a crash cart. We should have taught her that the paddles go over the heart, not the ears. In either case, the Vikings have a long road to recovery after a 3-13 season.

Naughty Nurse: Detroit Lions off life support

Cold, Hard Football Facts for March 18, 2012

The Detroit Lions had their Matt Millen removed four years ago and the their vital signs have improved dramatically since then. In fact, our Naughty Nurse of analysis took the former sad-sack franchise off life support in 2011.

Naughty Nurse: Cleveland Browns got no arms

Cold, Hard Football Facts for March 13, 2012

Our Russian mail-order Naughty Nurse says the Cleveland Browns have a Super Bowl-caliber defense and an offense so bad it belongs in the IPU: the Intensive Pigskin Unit. Bend over, Cleveland. This will hurt you more than it hurts us.

Team-by-team Naughty Nurse off-season analysis

Cold, Hard Football Facts for March 12, 2012

Our Russian mail-order Naughty Nurse checks the statistical vital signs of each NFL team. She breaks out her pigskin probe and uses her soothing, healing hands to take the temperature, and maybe a few liberties, with all our patients.

Naughty Nurse: Baltimore Ravens vital signs

Cold, Hard Football Facts for March 12, 2012

The soothing hands of our Naughty Nurse of analysis finds that perhaps no team was better top to bottom in 2011 than the Baltimore Ravens. The defense was again elite but Joe Flacco underwhelmed and lost opportunities cost the team a shot at the Super Bowl.