Troll Report: Gronkowski top target for porn stars, Brady

Cold, Hard Football Facts for Oct 25, 2011



When he's not tearing a swath through the world of adult film stars, New England tight end Rob Gronkowski has been tearing a swath through NFL defense as the top target in 2011 of defending NFL MVP quarterback Tom Brady.

Brady has an incredible 138.3 passer rating this year when targeting the newly minted internet sensation, according to research provided by longtime CHFF reader Kenny West.

Unless you're immune to the titillating buzz of the web-o-sphere, where so-called adults and professional reporters display all the maturity of giggling 12-year-old boys who found daddy's stash of Oui, you probably know that Gronkowski made a bold career move during New England’s bye week: he was photographed with porn star Bibi Jones.

In one image he was shirtless and that blonde little ho was sporting a Gronkowski game jersey. Nice move!
 
The story begets numerous questions:

One, who snapped the photos? Two, did the photographer get in on the sleezy action that surely ensued? Three, will the video make the interwebs, too?
 
And, finally, does Gronkowski travel with extra game jerseys – you know, just in case he wants to pick up porn stars or various other chickitas?
 
If so, we can only say, “Bravo, Rob, Bravo!”
 

The Chief Troll used to tell the lovely ladies of Boston that he was Heisman Trophy winner Doug Flutie – with little success. He should have carried a game jersey with him. Stupid. Stupid! STUPID!
 
We’ve been paying for lap dances all these years from second-string budding “actresses” when we could have landed the cream of the ho crop if only we had that No. 22 Boston College game jersey in the arsenal.
 
Conveniently enough, Gronkowski is more than just a target of the seedy underworld of internet gawkers. He's one of the most deadly pass catchers in the game today.
 
CHFF Troll Kenny West has tracked the passer ratings of the Patriots on a receiver-by-receiver basis each of the past two years. Last year he wrote to us just as the Patriots had dumped Randy Moss mid-season.
 
The move shocked the football world. But it did not shock the sharp-eyed CHFF reader such as West. Thanks to his data, we knew that Brady’s most ineffective efforts in 2010 came when targeting Moss. His story went viral. It made a shocking decision all so clear. And, no doubt, the Patriots probably had the same data at their disposal when they said “sayonara Randy.”

West wrote back to us this weekend with the 2011 data on Brady's top targets. Little did he or we know at the time that Gronkowski was banging an A-list ho about the same time that West and the CHFF crew were huddled in dark basements crunching football data and surfing internet porn.
 
Here's the list.

Tom Brady's Passer Rating Receiver by Receiver
  Att Comp PCT Yards TD INT YPA Rating
Gronkowski 38 29 76% 401 5 1 10.6 138.3
Welker 75 51 68% 785 6 0 10.5 129.0
Branch 39 26 67% 369 2 1 9.5 103.5
Green-Ellis 5 4 80% 38 0 0 7.6 98.3
Hernandez 41 27 66% 289 3 2 7.0 90.4
Slater 3 1 33% 46 0 0 15.3 81.9
Ridley 3 2 67% 11 0 0 3.7 72.9
Ochocinco 15 9 60% 136 0 1 9.1 62.1
Woodhead 11 8 73% 63 0 1 5.7 48.7
Edelman 6 3 50% 25 0 2 4.2 21.5
Brady total 237 160 68% 2163 16 8 9.1 104.8























Some of the holines, sorry, headlines, that come off the list:

Brady boasts a strong 104.8 passer rating; but he's exceeded that performance targeting only two players, Gronkowski and Wes Welker. Deion Branch is just shy of the mean.

Danny Woodhead has been a nice little story for the Patriots. But his production has fallen off noticeably so far in 2011. Last year, he averaged an awesome 5.6 YPA running the ball. That number has fallen to 4.1 YPA this year. More importantly, Woodhead has not been a particular effective option out of the backfield.

Aaron Hernandez has been Brady's No. 2 target, behind only Welker. The tight end has been targeted 41 times. But Gronkowski is clearly the more productive. The HoMan has caught more passes on fewer targets for more yards, more touchdowns, with fewer INTs along the way, a higher average per attempt and a much higher passer rating.

In fact, Brady's rating is 52.1 points higher when targeting Gronkowski than it is when targeting Hernandez.





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