The Swayze chronicles

Cold, Hard Football Facts for Sep 14, 2009



Longtime readers of the Cold, Hard Football Facts know that we have a man-crush on Patrick Swayze, the master of all that is manly and masculine.
 
Needless to say, then, that this is a sad day at the cardboard-box world headquarters, in the wake of Swayze's death from cancer on Monday.
 
We'll publish a deeply personal tribute to Swayze later today from CHFF bon vivant Frankie C., if he can stop crying long enough to get his sh*t together.
 
In the meantime, here are our Swayze Chronicles from the pages of CHFF:
 
Added Frankie C. in between the tears and his viewings of "Dirty Dancing" on auto-rewind: "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!"
  
Swayze character Dalton, bouncer at the legendary Double Deuce, serves as the inspiration of our Super Bowl bloodbath of data. (Frankie C. was going to run tours of the honky-tonk he affectionately calls D-squared until he discovered Road House was a fictional movie, not a documentary of Swayze's life.)
 
Even Frankie C. began to realize this "obsession with all things Swayze is probably beginning to disturb even our most ardent supporter."
 
Swayze gets long overdue recognition for his incredible mullet, "one part feathery pompadour, one part ass-kicking Road House warrior."
 
While the average CHFF reader has trouble executing the Twist, the Macarena and the YMCA, Swayze represents "the final word on male dance."

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