The All-User Team: RBs

Williams is the rare NFL player whose misconduct has held the headlines. Since bailing on Miami a year ago in the face of failed drug tests, the spotlight of scrutiny has been shining on him like a 400-watt bulb directed at an attic full of hydroponic weed. Even venerable, old media institution "60 Minutes" has gotten in on the act, twice featuring interviews with the Dolphins ballcarrier. Needless to say, Mike Wallace wasn't interested when Williams was just another running back. Although he was a Pro Bowler in 2002, when he led the league with 1,853 rushing yards, Williams' accomplishments running on grass have been overshadowed by his proclivity for smoking it.

 

After testing positive for a second time in 2004, Williams abruptly announced his retirement a week prior to training camp. He spent the year trying to find himself while in the ever-present company of Mary Jane. His lawyer had actually struck a reinstatement deal that would have allowed him to come off the retired list and serve his four-game suspension at the end of last season, but Williams passed...the bong, and declined. He must now miss the first four games of this season, his sixth in the league and third with the Dolphins.

RUSHING / RECEIVING
Year	Team	Games	Starts	Att.	Yards	TDs	Rec.	Yards	TDs
1999	New Orleans	12	12	253	884	2	28	172	0
2000	New Orleans	10	10	248	1000	8	44	409	1
2001	New Orleans	16	16	313	1245	6	60	511	1
2002	Miami	16	16	383	1853	16	47	363	1
2003	Miami	16	16	392	1372	9	50	351	1
2004	Miami	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
TOTALS		70	70	1589	6354	41	229	1806	4

 

Baltimore's Lewis is unquestionably one of the league's most talented backs. In his Pro Bowl year of 2003, he set the single-game rushing record with 295 yards (Sept. 14 vs. Cleveland) and recorded the second-best rushing total for a season with 2,066 yards. He has been far less elusive off the field, however.

 

In 2001, while already sidelined for the season by a torn knee ligament, Lewis was suspended for four games for a substance-abuse violation. Last year, he pleaded guilty to using a cellular phone to try to set up a drug transaction back in 2000. He was given a two-game suspension by the NFL, but a much harsher punishment came from the courts: a four-month prison sentence. Having served his time – and presumably having kept a firm grip on the soap – Lewis will now tote the pigskin for his sixth season with the Ravens.

RUSHING / RECEIVING
Year	Team	Games	Starts	Att.	Yards	TDs	Rec.	Yards	TDs
2000	Baltimore	16	13	309	1364	6	27	296	0
2001	Baltimore	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
2002	Baltimore	16	15	308	1327	6	47	442	1
2003	Baltimore	16	16	387	2066	14	26	205	0
2004	Baltimore	12	12	235	1006	7	10	116	0
TOTALS		60	56	1239	5763	33	110	1059	1

Smith gets the call to be our third-down back, and we might even have to make him the All-User Team's captain. We obviously have to find a prominent role for the man who made "The Original Whizzinator" famous. In fairness, though, who among us hasn't gone through airport security packing a prosthetic penis and dried urine? (Strictly to deliver to a cousin, of course.)

 

Despite serving a four-game suspension in 2004 for testing positive for marijuana, Smith still finished high in Minnesota's stats. The Cold, Hard Football Facts show that he was the Vikings' leading rusher and their top receiver out of the backfield. Now he has been stoned again by the NFL, suspended for the entire 2005 season for violating the league's substance-abuse policy for a third time. Smith's year off should allow him to refine the process of beating drug tests...while administering alternative medical treatment for his "glaucoma."

RUSHING / RECEIVING
Year	Team	Games	Starts	Att.	Yards	TDs	Rec.	Yards	TDs
2003	Minnesota	15	3	107	579	5	15	129	0
2004	Minnesota	11	6	124	544	2	36	394	2
TOTALS		26	9	231	1123	7	51	523	2

By Kerry Byrne