Pigskin Detention: A Reading From The Book Of Manning

Cold, Hard Football Facts for Sep 25, 2013



By: Patrick Imig
Cold Hard Football Facts’ Dean of Bacon (@patrickimig)


A READING FROM THE BOOK OF MANNING, ACCORDING TO ESPN FILMS

Peyton Manning and Eli Manning are brothers of the same mother. They have the same father, too. His name is Archie.

Peyton was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Eli was also born in New Orleans, although not in a hospital. For Brother Eli was born in a bakery, surrounded by turnovers.

Peyton and Eli both attended high school - where they played football. They each followed their career football path to SEC universities.

Peyton and Eli were very competitive. They were always trying to out-perform the other.

By the way, here’s a picture of Peyton and Eli on vacation as children.

 

 

That’s Eli in the middle. Guy on the left is a boy named Cooper.

But how about those Manning’s, huh? What a family. Breaking ground in America by taking vacations at beaches.  

But there will be no beach vacations this season.

Peyton is on pace for 64 touchdowns.

Eli is on pace for 42 interceptions.

And Cooper has almost completed his Lego castle. 

You can bet Peyton will do everything he can to hoist that Lombardi Trophy at season’s end, and tie Brother Eli in Super Bowl championships.

For two brothers of the same mother and father, who grew up competing against one another, it’s a family tradition. 

Anyone hungry for Papa John's or feel like driving a Buick?


HERE HERE FOR FRANK GORE!

Frank Gore yelled at head coach Jim Harbaugh during the 49ers blowout loss to the Colts in Week 3. At first glance, it looked like Gore was mad because he wasn’t getting his fair share.

It’s kind of a Mike Wallace scenario, who complained about not getting the ball during the Dolphins’ Week 1 victory. Of course, unlike the Dolphins, the 49ers got obliterated in Week 3.

Enter Gore with his explanation: “That's not me. I'm good. I just wanted to win. I wasn't thinking about how many times I touched the ball. I just wanted to win. Get that nasty taste out of our mouth. That's what I was thinking about."

Mike Wallace thinks Frank Gore is a mohawk-less pansy.

 

NATE BURLESON INSPIRES GREAT IDEA FOR CROSS-PROMOTION

Peyton Manning needs to do a TV commercial for Buick and Papa John's in which he successfully reaches for the pizza in the passenger seat, eats it and continues driving. 

 

FOOTBALL TWITTER FOLLIES

Note to NFL players: Tweeting, much like drinking, is dependant in part on knowing when to say when. You don’t have to Tweet everything that you come across, read or think.

Last week, Dez Bryant ReTweeted a picture of a vagina before deciding better and deleting it.

This week, a former Rams practice squad player questioned the skill of military personnel.

Although both Twitter examples are better alternatives than being bashed in the head with a champagne bottle by a stripper named Sweet Pea, they’re still dumb.

On the flip side, overt transparency is somewhat entertaining. 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick favorited some of his bashers and publicized their Tweets …

 

 

It’s rather obvious Ivan Rangel and Trevor MacArthur enjoy the Cold Hard Football Facts and approve the message that Harbaugh’s decision haunts the 49ers.

 

EL FIN

 

 

 


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