Meet the World's Biggest D-Bag (he's a Cowboys fan)
Cold, Hard Football Facts for Dec 03, 2007
We got hammered by Dallas fans all last week for picking Green Bay to edge out the Cowboys in their big Thursday night showdown (as opposed to our typical training regimen of getting hammered all week by drinking vanilla extract and lighter fluid).
Hey, we had good, solid statistical reasons for picking Green Bay. Little did we know the Good Brett of 2007 was going to revert into the Old Yeller Brett of 2005, and then go down with an injury, putting Green Bay's hopes in the hands of a quarterback (Aaron Rodgers) who had never thrown a meaningful snap in his career.
Football's a very simple game: throw picks against good teams and lose. Favre threw a couple picks, and made a number of awful throws, early in the game that put his team in a deep hole that Rodgers could not overcome (even as he outscored Romo's Cowboys 17-10 once he entered the game).
Bottom line though: we were wrong. We never hide from our mistakes and can take it like men.
And we expected all those Cowboys fans ripping us before the game to pile on gleefully after the game.
We didn't expect to hear from the World's Biggest Douche Bag. But we did. His name is Kenan Rappuchi. He works for someplace called Ventures Connect, which apparently is in the business of hiring losers who have no grip on reality and who take themselves and their teams a little too seriously.
Here's the meat of what he emailed to us Friday:
"You guys are fucking clueless, and your 'facts' just don't add up. Didn't I already tell you that the fact is Dallas would win? You are fucking stupid. Kill the site, and then kill yourselves."
Wow, one game wrong and this d-bag is so pissed that he wants us to "kill" ourselves. Talk about overreacting. You'd think we punctured his Tony Romo blow-up doll or short-circuited his Terrell Owens vibrator.
Apparently a 10-point win at home after watching your team get ripped all day by Aaron Rodgers was so exhilarating that the WBDB wants all those who found reason to doubt his Cowboys to die.
We're sure this vagina creamed his panties all the times we picked the Cowboys to win this year. And, funny, we didn't hear from him after we picked the Patriots to beat the Cowboys in Dallas earlier this year.
Some guys man up when they're wrong. That's our strategy.
And then there are effeminate douche bags like Kenan who go into juvenile hissy fit if you pick the wrong team to win ... as if we're like the first site in the history of the seedy underworld of online pigskin "punditry " to get a game wrong.
More from Cowboys fans
If you're interested, here are some of the things we heard last week from some of the more reasonable (in most cases) Cowboys fans.
"You might want to update your Power Rankings. It hard to take your site as serious or objective when ramble about how great the Steelers/Packers are and badmouth Dallas. Your boyfriend Favre is 0-8 in Dallas. The Steelers & Cowboys both played the Jets recently. The cold hard facts are 'youse guys' are spouting your opinions & trying to find data to back it up." – Kevin Stokes
CHFF responds: Apparently, this asshole missed the fact that we had Dallas ranked No. 3 and Pittsburgh No. 5 in our Power Rankings and specifically mentioned Dallas's 34-3 win over the Jets.
"Dallas WILL beat the Packers on Thursday night and have home field advantage throughout. Dallas IS the best team in the NFC. I know people love to hate, that's ok, we Cowboy fans are used to the jealousy. P.S. The 'Boys will beat the Patsies in Super Bowl 42!" – Brian Page
CHFF responds: Here's a guy firmly rooted in reality. Hey, he was right about Dallas winning on Thursday night. We were wrong. But then he confuses our slavish devotion to our proven Quality Stats as "jealousy" about a team that surrenders 20.7 PPG yet will somehow beat a team in the Super Bowl that ripped them for 48 points in Dallas earlier this year.
THIS ARTICLE IS CRAP -- ARE YOU A GB FAN ?? HOW COME YOU THINK BEATING A TEAM TWICE ( WHO IS A DIV GAME ) NY IS NOT AS GOOD AS GB BEATING THEM AT HOME . NY , DET ARE QUALITY GAMES -PLEASE - HOW COME THE BEARS GAME ( WHO BEAT A BRONCO TEAM ON THE RISE ) IS NOT A QUALITY LOST AND A QUALITY WIN FOR THE COWBOYS ?? DET -A QUALITY WIN PLEASE -GB ESCAPED FROM THAT GAME AFTER LETTING THEM COME BACK . HOW COME BEATING REDSKINS ( WINNING RECORD -WHEN WE DID ) IS NOT ONE - WHO HAS GB BEAT ???? NOBODY EITHER ! IF IT READS LIKE CRAP , SOUNDS LIKE CRAP , IT IS CRAP !!!!! – Larry Aratan
CHFF responds: Wow, good thing he wrote in all-caps or we might not have heard him or been able to decipher his illiterate rant. The beauty of this email is that he accuses us of being Packers fans. But his e-mail address is email@example.com: that's right, it's short for "DallasCowboyFan@xxx.com." Meet Larry, King of the Donkeys.
Cold Hard Fact: Dallas wins, LOL. You look at GB's schedule and then comment on Dallas's weak one? You're a joke." – Todd Smith
CHFF responds: You know what's a joke? Being outscored 17-10 in 40 minutes of football playing against a team led Aaron Rodgers, who shredded your defense for 201 passing yards, and then gloating about it.
"I don't agree with your article - How about the fact that the Cowboys destroyed the Bears 34-10 in Chicago and the Bears beat Green Bay!! You can't compare the Pats to the Giants, Chargers or Lions: 3-0 vs 2-1 when your loss is to the Pats is like being 3-0." – Frank Badalamenti
CHFF responds: In other words, the Cowboys are unbeatable if we ignore the game in which they got smoked at home.
And one reasonable Packers fan who realizes we always man up:
"It's nice that you've pointed out your blunder regarding how you picked the Packers to go this year. I enjoy your site and comments. However, I feel its time that you officially apologize for insulting Brett Favre, the Green Bay Packers and especially the fans for standing by our team. That's what we do. Appreciate your consideration." – James Durocher
CHFF responds: James, we did apologize to the Packers and Favre earlier this season. Of course, just as soon as we bought into the new Brett he goes out and plays like the 2005 Brett in their biggest game of the year. Must be our blind Green Bay homerism that Cowboys fans were so upset with.
Forearm Shiver: the CHFF Blog
- Hockey Announcer Gone Wild: You Want To Party (Maybe) With This Guy
- Best Pass Defense Ever: Ronde Barber And The 2002 Tampa Bay Buccaneers
- Reese Witherspoon Arrest Video: Hot, Bothered And Handcuffed
- Sam Adams In A Can, Just In Time For Summer Drinking Season
- Live From Radio City: Reporter Punks NFL Draft Fans
- The 5.0 Club: Best Rushing Teams in NFL History
- Sieves: The Worst Run Defenses In NFL History
- Monsters of the Midway: We Need The Chicago Bears More Than Ever
- Boston, Sports, Patriotism And Terror
- The 100 Stingiest Defenses In Football History
- NFL Crown Rule: Will It Dethrone Rushing King Adrian Peterson?
- Year Of The Offensive Tackle: Not Always The 'Safe' Draft Bet
- Draft Habits: NFL Teams Covet LBs, Duped By False Temptress WRs
- Big Tease: 2012 New England Patriots And NFL's History Of Offensive Failures
- Epic Fail: The Wide Receiver Draft Class Of 2012
Must See Videos