Angry Hank's gas-grill ribs

Angry Hank is a friend of the Cold, Hard Football Facts. The owner of the former Seven's Bar & Grill, a sports bar in New Port Richey, Florida, and a tailgate chef extraordinaire.

 

Why is Hank so Angry? Well, if you met him, you'd know. He's hideously grotesque, overweight and, generally speaking, a social pariah of the most egregious sort. He's also Angry about a trip he took to Penn State several years ago with the Cold, Hard Football Facts crew.

 

Angry Hank spent the entire weekend sweating over a deep fryer cranking out 50 pounds of Buffalo wings for breakfast (hey, we needed our protein) and four deep-fried turkeys for dinner. Everyone else claimed to be too banged up to lend a hand. But we rose to sobriety en masse when the food was done. Angry Hank was douched rather severely that weekend and he has yet to forget it. (He's also known as "Spankin' Hank" for another incident that weekend. But we told him we'd never mention it to anyone. Let's just say it involved a blow-up sheep.)

 

Angry Hank has one redeeming quality that forces us to continue to interact with him despite his many failings as a human being: he is a world-class tailgate chef.

 

Ribs, of course, are one of those things best cooked slowly over an indirect fire – in a smoker, in other words. However, Angry Hank realizes that few people have the time, patience or the ability to smoke a big pile of ribs on gameday. He also understands that many people continue to opt for the convenience of gas-powered grills over wood-fired grills. He uses this method below to create gas-grilled pork ribs with all the tenderness of smoked ribs.

 

They're best made with Angry Hank's homemade dry rub, which gives the ribs a great barbecue flavor.

 

Here's what you need:

 

Fire up gas grill and turn to the lowest setting. If the grill has three burners, shut off the center burner. Shut grill cover and keep thermometer to a reading of 200 to 250 degrees.

 

Remove the lining on the backside of each rack of ribs. Wash ribs then pat dry with paper towels. Lightly coat the ribs with olive oil.

 

Place one rack at a time in a large foil pan. Coat ribs generously with seasoning and then use your hands to rub the seasoning into the meat. Shake off excess rub into the pan. Repeat until each rack is coated.

 

Place ribs on the grill's elevated rack. They should not be placed on the primary cooking grate, but must be elevated. Cook for 6 to 8 hours, turning each hour or so. Using a brush or squirt bottle, baste occasionally with clean water, cider vinegar, beer or other liquid. If desired, brush lightly with a barbecue sauce in the final 15-20 minutes of cooking. This is optional – Angry Hank opts to go without the sauce.

 

The ribs can be cooked the day before the game and then reheated on an elevated rack on gameday, or simply consumed cold in the parking lot.

By Kerry Byrne