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This is the MFL
Cold, Hard Football Facts for September 11, 2006
The NFL, the "pundits" and corporate America have firmly engorged themselves on the throbbing, overexposed penis that is the Manning Family.
In fact, they might as well just call it the MFL – the Manning Football League –  after yesterday's public display of pornography.
First, there was the daylong buildup to the Indy-N.Y. Giants game that – in case you were wondering – pitted brothers Eli and Peyton Manning. The matchup was only accentuated by the fact that it was NBC's first Sunday broadcast of "Football Night in America."
Needless to say, the "pundits" didn't just milk the Manning story. They ripped the sagging, desiccated teats off the poor f'in bastard.
Second, there was the puke-inducing onslaught of commercials featuring at least one – and in many cases, three – different members of the Manning Family. In fact, we counted six different ads yesterday that featured a Manning. These six ads must have aired no fewer than 100 times during the course of the day's NFL broadcasts.
Of course, some of the ads are quite funny. And Peyton has built a little cottage industry out of making fun of himself. But enough is enough.
Really, do these people have any shame? Do they ever just say no? Do they realize they're on the air every waking moment on game day? It's only a matter of time before even the most loyal Manning supporters throw their hands up in disgust. If you had the good fortune of TiVo-ing past all the commercials, this is what you missed:
Peyton appeared alone in ads for:
Peyton appeared with Eli (the little brother, in case you missed it yesterday) and  dad Archie in ads for:
- DirecTV Sunday Ticket
- Reebok NFL Gear (pictured here), which features the family in a variety of domestic situations
- ESPN
Peyton also appears in an ad for Gatorade, though we did not see it yesterday.
The Peytons vs. the Elis (sounds like an old Ivy League game) was actually an entertaining contest, highlighted by the competition between Al Michaels and John Madden to see who could stroke the Mannings harder than the other.
This little exchange summed it up well. Peyton had just completed a quick-release third quarter pass, prompting Michaels to fawn:
"You wonder if he went back there blindfolded, if he could get it in there."
Do you really, Al?
"He's such a perfectionist," added Madden.
That was only part of the Manning onslaught. In addition to the incessant pre-game hype and the incessant commercials, there were the:
- Incessant in-game graphics comparing Eli to Peyton
- Incessant in-game family home videos of Eli and Peyton as children
- Incessant shots of mom Olivia and dad Archie in a Giants Stadium luxury box, both stone-faced, refusing to show a preference for either overexposed boy
And, just in case all that were not enough, Peyton earned NBC's post-game "Rock Star" award as the contest's top performer. He was quickly cornered by sideline reporter Andrea Kremer, who asked (what else?):
"What did you say to your brother" after the game?
Before ripping out our eyeballs, we changed the station in an effort to escape the all-Manning, all-the-time MFL coverage.
A quick turn to ESPN revealed nothing but more wall-to-wall Manning coverage. Sean Salisbury was breaking down Peyton Manning's TD pass to Dallas Clark and telling us that, "I think both Peyton and Eli should be proud of each other."
No, they shouldn't.
If they're at home watching football and if they had any dignity, they'd be shamed by all the coverage. The Mannings are the single most overexposed performers in the history of football, especially when measured against their actual on-field accomplishments.
Hey, there are approximately 1,700 players on active NFL rosters, including guys like Tampa Bay's Derrick Brooks, who will end up in the Hall of Fame some day. There are hundreds of coaches, too. But for one long day, the game was all about one family and two players.
If you didn't know better, based on all the attention, you'd think that the Mannings have won a bunch of Super Bowls or something – or maybe even a handful of playoff games.
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