Cold, Hard Football Facts hero Hank Williams Jr., who residents of Planet Pigskin know as the "Are You Ready for Some Football?" guy on Monday Night Football, turned himself into the fuzz yesterday, after a 19-year-old waitress accused him of assault.
According to a Shelby County police affidavit,
posted on thesmokinggun.com, the honky-tonk hero was at the bar of the Peabody Hotel on March 18 when he said to the waitress, "I'm Hank Williams Jr., bitch."
It sounds like he's been studying the Cold, Hard Football Facts "How to Score with Younger Babes" playbook.
The smooth talk did not win over the heart of the young woman. So Williams, according to the report, "continued to verbally abuse her, cursing her and making sexual references." He then attacked the women physically, according to the report, before he "was pulled off her by his friends and she ran away."
Williams is scheduled to appear in court later today.
"Bocephus," as he's known by country music fans, is not the only good ol' boy to find himself in trouble with the law.
Actor Tom Wopat, best known as Luke Duke on the hit 1980s TV show "
The 
Dukes of Hazzard," was busted in March for driving under the influence and reckless driving by police in Ringwood, N.J., according to the Associated Press.
(Wopat is the one with the dark hair on the left in this photo featuring "Dukes" co-stars John Schneider and the red-hot vixen Catherine Bach.)
Wopat was not driving a 1969 Dodge Charger when he got busted. In the grand tradition of Hollywood, he was behind the wheel of a white Ford Bronco.
Beats all you ever saw.
September
