The Sweet Sixteen is sweet, at least for a pigskin-deprived nation. But for us at Cold, Hard Football Facts it only serves as a reminder:

 

What if.

 

As in, what if this were an NCAA football tournament, and we were just coming off of the greatest four days of college football ever?

 

Imagine it – 48 games of college football, leaving us with the 16 best teams in the land. Sure, it would be a physical impossibility to ask teams to play Friday night and then Sunday, but this is our fantasy.

 

If the basketball teams were magically replaced by the schools' football teams, we would have seen some great games – Michigan vs. Tennessee, West Virginia-Clemson, Notre Dame-Florida State, UCLA-Michigan State – and the time spent poring over brackets would have equaled the entire Mesozoic  Era.

 

It's not too late for this fantasy to come true, is it? Let's look at the matchups.

Ohio State is the favorite to win the basketball tournament, and they'd be the favorites to win the "CHFF Alternate Universe March Madness Ultimate World Supremacy Battle" (patent pending) as well. Even if you take Jim Tressel and Terrelle Pryor and banish them to the press box, the Buckeyes would still have had enough to win this one.

 

That said, there would be a bit of room for a Cinderella story ... Kentucky did make a bowl game (losing to Pitt), and QB Mike Hartline threw 23 touchdowns to only nine picks in 2010.

Marquette's football team dominated college football for a stretch after World War I, going 17-0-1 in 1922 and '23 and outscoring opponents 374-15. The "Golden Avalanche" also played in the first Cotton Bowl, a nice distinction, and were generally a pretty impressive program.

 

But by the 1950s, they literally couldn't win a game, and the program was discontinued in 1960. There is a club team on campus, but even a few days spent drinking Red Bulls and vodka with an androstenedione chaser wouldn't get them past a North Carolina team that could have five players drafted in this year's top 100 (DT Marvin Austin, OLB Bruce Carter, DE Robert Quinn, S Deunta Williams and ILB Quan Sturdivant).

It's a bit amazing that Duke hasn't been able to put together the slightest semblance of a decent football team to pair with its great men's basketball team. The Blue Devils have been to only two bowl games since Mike Krzyzweski took over the basketball team in 1980, and haven't actually won one since 1961.

 

Arizona's football team has also been a step behind its basketball program over the years, but at least has produced standouts like Tedy Bruschi, Rob Gronkowski, Dennis Northcutt, Antoine Cason and Chris McAllister in fairly recent memory. And they've been in three straight bowl games, enough to give them the clear edge in this matchup.

Most people aren't aware that San Diego State has one of the most unique football histories any college program can claim. Eight NFL head coaches, including two Hall of Famers and four Super Bowl champions, either coached or played at San Diego State: Joe Gibbs (player, assistant), John Madden (assistant), Don Coryell (head coach), Herm Edwards (player), John Fox (player), Sean Payton (assistant), Tom Cable (assistant) and Brian Billick (assistant).

 

Add alums like Marshall Faulk, Brian Sipe, Isaac Curtis and Dennis Shaw, and you've got some impressive highlights. And the 2010 team was the best the Aztecs have had in years, reaching the Poinsettia Bowl and crushing Navy while coach Brady Hoke moved on up to Michigan after the season.

 

The  Aztecs would be in for a great battle with UConn, which boasted one of the nation's top running backs in Jordan Todman and squeaked into the BCS mix by winning a weak Big East. While the Huskies lost decisively to Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl, they also beat bowl teams West Virginia, Pitt, Syracuse and South Florida down the stretch.

 

The Kansas football team has shown signs of shaking off decades of subpar play with three bowl wins since 2005 and an Orange Bowl trip in the 2007 season. But the cupboard was back to bare last year. They've got a pair of former star QBs calling the shots in head coach Turner Gill (Nebraska ) and offensive coordinator Chuck Long (Iowa), but  could barely score points in 2010 – they averaged fewer than 10 points a game in their nine losses.

 

Fortunately for the Jayhawks, they draw a middling FCS team in the Richmond Spiders – a mid-major in college hoops, but a mid-minor in football.

What is up with colleges having no football teams? Why would any sane human being agree to attend? VCU hasn't had a team since, well, ever, and if you'd like you can sign up on Facebook for the "VCU Football....Still Undefeated" page along with 1,789 of your closest friends. They'd need all 1,789 people on the field to have a chance against Florida State. The Seminoles are good even when they're bad, and spent the 14 years between 1987 and 2000 with records of 10-2 or better.

Those lovable Butler Bulldogs basketballers ousted Pitt in the Round of 32, spoiling what could have been a nice football game between the Panthers and Badgers.

 

Instead, Wisconsin practically gets a bye into the Sweet 16. The Badgers quietly had one of the best running attacks of the past decade in 2010 -- they came a Montee Ball four-yard run away from having three 1,000-yard rushers on one team. That's only been done once, by the 2009 Nevada team.

 

When Wisconsin played Ball State's state mate, Indiana, they won 83-20, so you could expect more of the same in this one.

 

Sure, both programs had down 2010 seasons. But otherwise, Cougars-Gators would be the richest battle of our faux-nament in terms of both history and recent success.

 

BYU was a pretty good team in the second half of 2010, winning four of five to make a bowl led by safety Andrew Rich (111 tackles, five INTs). Florida peaked early and didn't approach the level of years past as Urban Meyer wound up stepping down – again.

 

The Gators are the better team, but it's March Madness and we've got to pick an upset somewhere, right?

 

Arizona vs. UConn:  While it was UConn going to the Fiesta Bowl as the Big East champion, ratings guru Jeff Sagarin had Arizona rated No. 30 overall and UConn at No. 56. UConn's running game gets stopped by Arizona's run D (3.6 YPA), and it's a mild upset.

Ohio State vs. North Carolina: If North Carolina was allowed to suit up all of its suspended players (and maybe a young Lawrence Taylor), it'd have the defense to hang with the mighty Buckeyes. Instead, they provide a good game and a near-shocker.

 

Kansas vs. Florida State: The Jayhawks were lucky to be here, and the Seminoles consider it their birthright to play in college football's Elite 8. Imagine how many Final Fours the great Bobby Bowden teams would have made if the NCAA would collectively get its head out of its ass and make this happen for real?

 

Wisconsin vs. BYU:  If Jimmer Fredette were able to play quarterback as well as he plays basketball, you'd give the Cougars a chance here. Instead, it's Wisconsin pulverizing the BYU defense.

 

Imagine the thrills and chills during the Jump Around at Camp Randall as the Badgers advance to the first final four in college football history.

 

Arizona vs. Ohio State: A favorable draw was good enough to get Arizona through here. But the fun stops against the Buckeyes. Ohio State had 25 first-team All-Americans in the 2000s. Arizona had one. That's not getting it done.

 

Wisconsin vs. Florida State: Wisconsin has the great running game. Florida State has the NFL-ready quarterback in Christian Ponder. Wisconsin has the explosive O. Florida State has the defense that held Florida to just seven points in 2010. In the end, it's a coin flip, and we just can't resist the idea of the Seminoles in our title game.

Ohio State vs. Florida State:  Buckeyes-Seminoles would hardly have been the best college football final game pairing from the 2010 season. But can you imagine the excitement a true national championship series would have brought, especially one that involved two high-voltage, traditional football powerhouses from two football-crazy states?

 

It's truly a shame that the NCAA can't figure out a way to make this happen.

 

As to our mythical game, Ohio State just has too much. The Buckeyes are champs of the first annual "CHFF Alternate Universe March Madness Ultimate World Supremacy Battle" (patent still pending)

 

 

Sigh. Back to reality.