This week's Monday Morning Hangover was pieced together in the glorious afterglow of the season's last weekend binge of carving gourds and pounding pumpkin ales.
Minnesota 38, Green Bay 26
The Packers have allowed 31 sacks this year, easily the most in the NFL, and should probably call up the Aflac duck to purchase a supplemental insurance policy for Aaron Rodgers, who is bound to get hurt and miss work if he keeps getting decked like that.
Lost in all of the BrettFavre hoopla surrounding this game is the fact that the Vikings, with six sacks of Aaron Rodgers on Sunday, piled up 14 sacks in just two games against BrettFavre's old team.
BrettFavre, for his part, continues to be a marvel of modern human engineering. He torched his former team for the second time in 2009, and as
the CHFF First Response team noted, BrettFavre has put up ridiculous numbers this season in two games against Green Bay's otherwise stout pass defense (41 of 59, 69.5%, 515 yards, 8.7 YPA, 7 TD, 0 INT, 135.9 passer rating).
BrettFavre's four TD passes on Sunday marked the 21st time in his illustrious, never-ending career that he's accomplished that feat, tying him with Dan Marino for first all time. Perhaps the most impressive aspect of BrettFavre's performance in 2009 to date is his strong TD to INT ratio (16 to 3), which included another "0" in the INT column on Sunday.
When Rodgers had time to throw on Sunday, he pretty much matched BrettFavre pass for pass (26 of 41, 287 yards, 3 TD, 0 INT, 108.5 rating). But that's not good enough when you can't consistently protect the passer.
Houston 31, Buffalo 10
Houston trailed 10-9 going into the fourth quarter but then got three surprising TDs from back-up ball carrier Ryan Moats (23 carries, 126 yards, 5.5 YPA) in the final frame to pull away from the Bills.
Buffalo, No. 2 in Defensive Passer Rating heading into the game, picked off two more passes Sunday, both by rookie Jairus Byrd, who became only the second player in history to have two interceptions for three consecutive weeks.
The Bills also held Matt Schaub to a pedestrian 71.7 rating on the day (25 for 34, 268 yards, 0 TD, 2 INT), but the Houston QB still managed to average 7.9 yard per passing attempt on the day, keeping his season pace at a well-above-average 8.3.
After two straight wins backboned by great pass defense, Buffalo simply couldn't overcome its anemic offense this time.
The Bills were heavily outgained (439-204), went just 2 for 10 on third down conversions, and also got a horrendous performance from QB Ryan Fitzpatrick (15 for 23, 117 yards, 0 TD, 2 INT, 41.4 rating), who continued to sub for the injured Trent Edwards.
The win pushed Houston (5-3) to two games over .500 for the first time in franchise history.
Miami 30, N.Y. Jets 25
Miami fans this morning are happy, at least for one day, that the Dolphins made a very long reach for former Ohio State burner Ted Ginn Jr. in the first round of the 2007 draft,
Despite being totally dominated in every meaningful category by the Jets on Sunday (including a wide 378-104 disparity in yards), Miami still won behind three non-offensive TDs, including two long kickoff returns by Ginn (100 and 101 yards) in the third quarter.
Benched as a starter at wide receiver, Ginn became the first NFL player since Green Bay's Travis Williams in 1967 to return two kickoffs for TDs in the same quarter.
Jets rookie QB Mark Sanchez (20 for 35, 265 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT, 100.3 rating) had his second consecutive strong performance after three straight bad efforts.
But Oscar Meyer's favorite QB was unable to get the Jets into the end zone on their final possession of the game, taking two ill-advised sacks in the red zone as New York's attempt at a comeback win fell short.
The disparity in the game is best summed up by each team's performance in Scoreability.
The Dolphins, No. 8 on the CHFF Scoreability Index heading into the game, shot up to No. 4 this week, after scoring 30 points on just 104 yards (an amazing 3.47 Yards Per Point Scored).
The Jets needed 15.12 Yards Per Point Scored.
Miami defensive end Jason Taylor scored the ninth touchdown of his career when he scooped up fumble and rumbled 48 yards for the score.
Carolina 34, Arizona 21
It took seven games, but the Panthers may have finally figured out how to win in 2009: don't let Jake Delhomme touch the football.
Carolina's two-headed running back monster of DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart combined for 245 rushing yards on 40 carries, for an awesome 6.1 YPA, as the Panthers upset the previously hot Cardinals out in the desert.
Delhomme attempted just 14 passes (7 of 14, 90 yards, 6.4 YPA, 1 TD, 0 INT, 94.3 rating) before leaving the game in the third quarter with an injury; not surprisingly, the 94 rating was his best effort of an otherwise awful season.
Meanwhile, Kurt Warner out-Delhommed the mistake-prone Delhomme.
Arizona's quarterback completed 27 of 46 for 242 yards, 2 TD, 5 INT and a 47.8 rating. He also lost a fumble.
It was Warner's worst performance of the year, as he continues to search for his 2008 form (81.5 passer rating here in 2009).
Carolina's Julius Peppers produced monster day, with a pick-six, a forced a fumble and a sack. He continues to have a quietly spectacular season for the struggling Panthers (7 sacks, 3 forced fumbles, 1 INT for a TD in 7 games).
Baltimore 30, Denver 7
The Ravens score as well as anyone. For a league-leading fifth time in seven games, the Ravens hung 30 points on an opponent.
This time they did it against what was formerly the league's stingiest defense.
Joe Flacco threw another fourth quarter touchdown pass (seven of his 12 TD tosses have come in the final frame) and managed 6.2 yards per drop back. He led a balanced Ravens attack that produced touchdowns passing, rushing, and in the return game.
The Denver and Baltimore offenses, meanwhile, entered the game with similar passing attacks: the Broncos averaged 6.98 YPA (10th); the Ravens averaged 6.76 YPA (11th). But the Ravens easily won the passing battle this week (6.2 YPA to 3.4 YPA) and easily won the game.
The Broncos have been battle-tested this year, with a 4-1 record against Quality Teams. So a loss on the road to a good team is no time to panic.
But the schedule does not get any easier: the Broncos host the Steelers this week and still have games on the schedule against the Chargers, Giants, Colts and Eagles.
Dallas 38, Seattle 17
The Cowboys are feeling good after three straight wins under the new caretaker-style Tony Romo. They produced their greatest offensive output in nearly two years and, at 5-2, are tied with the Eagles atop the NFC East.
We don't want to break up the party here -- ahh, who we kidding, of course we do -- but the Cowboys will do nothing as long as their pass defense remains a major liability.
Seattle's Matt Hasselbeck, who passed for just 112 yards in his last outing, a 27-3 loss to Arizona, dink-and-dunked his way to
249 yards, 2 TDs and a 92.8 passer rating against the underwhelming Dallas defense.
It'd be one thing if that performance was atypical against the Cowboys, but it wasn't. Dallas, after Week 8, has a 90.4 Defensive Passer Rating, 23rd in the NFL and sandwiched between bottom-feeders Oakland and Cleveland.
Phillips Exeter 41, Cushing Academy 19
A certain web publisher spent Saturday in Exeter, N.H., taking in the colorful glory of Halloween weekend and ritzy New England prep school football, complete with riverfront tailgating.
Hey, it was either attend this game or head to Detroit to watch the Rams-Lions debacle. What would you do?
A kid named Alex Scyocurka ran four four touchdowns for Exeter, including three in the second half, to break open a 14-13 game at intermission.
Bill Belichick might already have his eye on him: the Patriots coach attended Phillips Andover in Massachusetts and the two arch-rivals square off Nov. 14 in Exeter.
Tennessee 30, Jacksonville 13
The headlines say that Vince Young led the Titans to victory.
The headlines are wrong.
Vince Young certainly played well enough on Sunday, completing a career high 83 percent of his passes (15 of 18) for a respectable 6.9 YPA and the second highest rating of his career (114.1).
Granted, he did it against a Jaguars secondary that has a historic antipathy for causing incomplete passes, but no one can argue with his efficiency on Sunday.
The real hero on the day was Chris Johnson, however. After the Jaguars scored to tie the game at 13-13, Johnson took over with 52- and 89-yard touchdown runs in the second half. Johnson now owns five scores longer than 50 yards this year and has the two longest TD runs (91 and 89 yards) in the NFL here in 2009.
The second-year Tennessee ball carrier ripped off 228 yards on 24 carries (9.5 YPA) with two touchdowns. He's now posted an amazing 6.9 average per rush attempt here in 2009 (119 for 824) – a topic we'll discuss in much greater detail soon.
For the Jags, their hopes of entering the playoff hunt were dashed as they failed to exploit a horrid Titans secondary. Tennessee was rivaling the Lions for the worst passing defense in football history heading into Sunday's play (117.54
Defensive Passer Rating and league-high 19 TDs allowed).
The Titans turned every quarterback they faced into 2007 Tom Brady – and turning Tom Brady into a bionic version of himself: he threw a record five TD passes in one quarter against the Titans earlier this year.
Instead of feasting, however, David Garrard had one of his worst days a pro posting a 35.9 rating. So it was a resurgent Titans defense and the Johnson's long runs that carried the Titans to victory.
VY was just along for the ride.
San Diego 24, Oakland 16
From 1967 to 1992, the Chargers won just 13 games against their traditional northern California rivals. As of today, they've won 13 straight over the once-proud Raiders.
But neither of San Diego's two wins this year were as easy as they should have been: The Chargers won 24-20 back in Week 1, and 24-16 here in Week 8.
That's not a good sign against an Oakland team whose other four losses this year have been by an average of 32.0 PPG.
Chicago 30, Cleveland 6
The Browns are officially
the Schlep Rock of the NFL: everything they touch falls apart.
Derek Anderson, for example, punched in a score for the Browns in the third quarter – which is enough to spark a celebration in Cuyahoga County: it was just the fifth offensive touchdown the Browns have scored in 14 games, dating back to midway through the 2008 season.
Naturally, something had to go wrong, and it did: Phil Dawson's extra point attempt was blocked. But that's what happens when your extra-point team trots out onto the field just once every three games.
The Curse of Sid Luckman continues to haunt Bears fans and Jay Cutler, meanwhile, despite the impressive looking tally on the scoreboard.
Cutler completed 17 of 30 passes, 56.7%, for 225 yards, 7.5 YPA, 0 TD, 1 INT and a 66.7 passer rating
Cutler is now 13th in the NFL this year with 1,677 yards through the air and 20th in passer rating (a below average 80.8). And only Jake Delhomme (13) has thrown more picks than Cutler's 11.
In other news, there's no truth to the rumor that Cleveland head coach Eric Mangini applied for an assistant's position with the Patriots.
St. Louis 17, Detroit 10
Sunday's Rams-Lions game was historic: It might haven been the worst matchup in NFL history. Since the start of the 2008 season, the Rams and Lions were a combined 3-42 going into Sunday's meeting in Detroit.
The Rams won thanks to another huge day from Steven Jackson, who continues to post respectable numbers despite playing for one of the worst teams in history. Jackson ran for more than 100 yards for the sixth time in his last nine games (22 for 149, 1 TD).
But Jackson's great talent has not translated for the the Rams: they are now 1-5 in those six games. Despite nearly 1,000 yards from scrimmage this year, Jackson's game-winning 25-yard run was just his first touchdown of the season. (The Rams have scored a league-low 77 points in eight games.)
How bad is the Lions pass defense, meanwhile? They've now given up a 18 passing TDs (31st) and the latest one was thrown by a kicker. In the second quarter, trailing 2-0, the Rams faked a field goal and Josh Brown connected with Daniel Fells for a 36-yard score.
The scoreboard says the Rams won and the Lions lost. But football fans were the real losers in this one.
(The Monday Morning Hangover is compiled by CHFF contributors and writers from around the blogosphere, including Deshawn Zombie of 
