We made three mistakes last week.
First mistake: In the football dead zone of the weekend between the conference title games and the Super Bowl we offered up a classic
1st and 10 poll with questions completely unrelated to football.
Second mistake: We included an open-ended question asking the sub-human troglodytes who pass for our readers to tell us the strangest thing that ever happened to them. We offered up a bonus if said answers didn't involve sex in a bathroom.
Third mistake: We just looked at the answers.
Naturally, there were countless answers of sex in unusual places. Which surprised us because, well, we figured 95 percent of our readers had never been laid.
One guy got "a hummer from my aunt" ... but at least she was hot. Another dude lost his virginity to a Tigger doll in college. And, finally, is this classic: "Whatever a man and a woman and another woman with a penis and a midget do to a donkey is their own gosh-darn business."
Real classy folks, our readers.
And, thankfully, one of our readers was arrested in Biloxi, Mississippi for having long hair. Serves the Goddamned hippie right.
If you want to actually take the survey and contribute your own tawdry tales,
click here.
