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PITT-STL: a game so ugly only a monkey could love it
Cold, Hard Football Facts for December 20, 2007

NFL Network execs must be thrilled they uncovered this precious gem for their Thursday night broadcast: a stumbling team desperate for a victory squares off against a team that's been so bad this year that it's getting a big lump of coal in its stocking next week.
 
Pittsburgh clearly should win. But a game like this must be left to the experts to pick against the spread. So we awoke Bonzo the Idiot Monkey from his Monday through Saturday slumber to pick the game for us.
 
He didn't look at all the numbers. In fact, he rarely looks at anything but the Playsimian centerfolds plastered all around his cage. But if you want to look at a bloodbath in statistical black & white, you'll find it in the chart below.
 
Looks like it's going to be a long night for the Rams. And for you. And for the NFL Network.
 
As for us? Well, we'll immerse ourselves in the big Utah-Navy showdown in the Poinsettia Bowl. It's gotta be prettier than this here:
 
PITTSBURGH at ST. LOUIS
Teams
St. Louis Rams
9-5
Overall Record
3-11
3-2
0-6
16.57 YPPA (9)
13.21 YPPA (28)
13.75 YPPS (7)
19.14 YPPS (30)
14.0 (14t)
25.0 (29)
13.3 (9t)
19.0 (22)
5.99 (18)
5.22 (26)
76.1 (8)
80.7 (13)
+10 (8)
-9 (25t)
-7.5
+7.5
43.5
43.5
 
Longtime Cold, Hard Football Facts favorite Ben Roethlisberger was voted to the Pro Bowl this year, but the passing game is Pittsburgh's clearest statistical weakness, as evidenced by a No. 18 ranking in Passing Yards Per Attempt. Remember, when the Steelers won the Super Bowl in 2005, they led the entire NFL in Passing Yards Per Attempt.
 
It's not so much that Big Ben doesn't pass the ball well. The problem is that he takes so many sacks, 43 in fact, among the most in the NFL this year. And, naturally, our team-wide look at Passing Yards Per Attempt takes these sacks into account, instead of letting them disappear into statistical ether the way most analysts do.
 
But sacks won't be an issue tonight, as Pittsburgh faces an opponent that's even worse in the passing game. In fact, the Rams pretty much suck in every single measure of suckitude, ranking in the bottom half of the league in every single one of our Quality Stats except for Defensive Passer Rating, where they're a rosy mediocre 13th. The Rams are also a brutal 0-6 vs. Quality Opponents (only the Bobby Petrino-less Falcons are worse this year) and have been outscored by 17.8 PPG in those six contests.
 
We like Pittsburgh to cover. But Bonzo went with Rams.
 
The score: Pittsburgh 26, St. Louis 21

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