OK, we're starting to get a little scared of Bonzo, the incredible coin-flipping, NFL prognosticating monkey.

 

Bonzo went 11-5 in Week 11 and 2-1 on Thanksgiving, leaving his season record at an incredible 96-65. Frankly, we're in awe of his blatant disregard for random chance.

 

Even Bonzo doesn't know what to make of all this success.

 

He offered this statement through our "Monkey Translator 3000" software: "Bonzo no eat turkey ... bonzo scared of dark ... Bonzo kill man in white coat? ... Bonzo sorry he pick Bills over Patriots ... Bonzo think pick people dumb ... where scotch? ... Bonzo go now." 

Good stuff, Bonzo! It's comforting to know your head's in the right place.

 

Bonzo is actually only up four games on the leading experts at CBSSports.com -- Clark Judge (92-69) and Pete Prisco (89-70) are both having excellent seasons, for humans at least. 

 

It's only a matter of time before Bonzo (who hasn't been under .500 once all season) has a bad week, but until then, we can only think that he's reached some sort of idiot nirvana, like Chance the gardner in the great movie "Being There."

 

Amazing stuff.

 

On to Bonzo's weekend picks. Bonzo leaned heavily toward road teams for Sunday, picking them in 10 of the 13 games. And he also favored five of the six teams that are more than a TD underdog.

 

New Orleans (-2.5) at Carolina NO

Denver at Chicago (-1.5) DEN

Tennessee (-1) at Cincinnati TEN

Houston at Cleveland (-3.5) CLE

Buffalo at Jacksonville (-7.5) BUF

Oakland at Kansas City (-5.5) OAK

Minnesota at NY Giants (-7.5) MIN

Seattle (-2.5) at St. Louis STL

Washington at Tampa Bay (-2.5) WAS

San Francisco at Arizona (-9.5) SF

Baltimore at San Diego (-8.5) SD

Philadelphia at New England (-20.5) PHI

Miami at Pittsburgh (-15.5) MIA 

 

 

 

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