But we have a good excuse. We grew up in the 28-team NFL era and have quietly been lobbying the Gridiron Godfather (we have the commish on our Dixie Cup-and-string hotline) to bring the league back to this more manageable number of teams. Plus, being ardent numerologists, we have an affinity for numbers divisible by 7.

 

Our solution is simple: whack the entire NFC West, and you’ll pretty much drop many of the league’s worst teams.

 

The Gridiron Godfather, like just about every woman we've ever known, has so far spurned our advances.

 

And to make it even worse, the NFC West actually went out and gave us a decent effort yesterday: The Cardinals dropped the red-hot (by Matt Millen standards) Lions, while the Rams surrendered the No. 1 pick to Miami by beating the previously red-hot (four straight wins) Saints.

 

The final two teams in the division play tonight, so the group is assured three winners (or maybe four non-losers) for what might be the first time since the pigskin powers-that-be conspired to create this affront to football-kind called the realigned NFC West back in 2002.

 

So who’s going to win tonight? Let’s commune with the spirit of Haight-Ashbury and consult the magic chart.

 

Wow. San Francisco does suck.

 

We thought the 49ers might win at least one Quality Statistical battle against their mediocre NFC West rivals.

 

No such luck. San Fran ranks in the bottom half of the league in every single category, low-lighted, of course, by one of the most historically inept passing attacks ever (3.75 Passing Yards Per Attempt). As we noted earlier this season, Joe Montana must roll over in the luxury bed at his wine-country mansion every time he watches this team play.