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Look what we're having for dinner
Cold, Hard Football Facts for October 12, 2007
 If you wonder what the Cold, Hard Football Facts crew is going to eat this holiday season, there she is: an 800-pound moose the Chief Troll's brother-in-law, Mike McConnell, took down Wednesday deep in the shit-kicking North Woods of Maine.
That's Mike there on the right with some random dude. Betsy weighed in at 633 pounds dressed out. Mike weighs a good 200 soaking wet. Puny man.
Sure, you may think that sitting around all day in your underwear drinking beer and calculating football data is a sweet gig, but Mike's got an even better deal: he's a registered Maine guide at Northern Outdoors in The Forks, Maine (real town, pop. 32). He takes people whitewater rafting down the Kennebec, Dead and Penobscot Rivers in the spring and summer, deer hunting in the fall and snowmobiling in the winter. And, lest we forget his true calling, he brews the beer at the lodge.
Granted, his gig involves a lot more physical exertion than sitting around in your underwear drinking beer all day. But people in Maine can deal with stuff like sweat and physical labor.
This year, he won the Maine moose permit lottery and took down this bad girl with the Chief Troll's Ruger 30.06. That's gonna be some good eatin'. Among other things, we're going to make our famous smoky breakfast sausage, but using moose meat instead of deer meat. (If you have the equipment, you really should make those sausage. They're the best friggin' thing you'll ever taste, and will make your cardboard box or the space beneath your bridge smell like a smoky autumn day ... which is a lot more pleasing than the Eau de Urinal Puck aroma you've been striving for the past few years).
Thank God for big animals, big appetites and big rifles. Otherwise we'd have to like, you know, go to the supermarket and buy meat.
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