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The Cold, Hard Football Facts rulebook
Cold, Hard Football Facts for September 17, 2007
The rules inside the Cold, Hard Football Facts cardboard-box world headquarters are few and far between. But these are two of them:
- If Rich Kotite, destroyer of two franchises, has a better career record than your coach, you’re not an elite team.
- If your franchise hasn’t won a postseason contest since the 1994 AFC title game, you’re not an elite team.
Other than that, it’s pretty much a free for all. Leave up the toilet seat. Run with scissors. Shoot your eye out. Film our signals from the sidelines. We really don’t care.
But those other two rules about Kotite and playoff wins? Those are pretty much rock solid regulations.
All of which brings us around to your 2007 San Diego Chargers.
There was a curious rush to judgment this past off-season to anoint the Chargers one of the best teams in football. Everyone declared them the "most talented" team in football. Everyone declared them a part of the NFL elite.
Everyone but the Cold, Hard Football Facts, which stemmed the tide of Chargers ball-washing like a rigid, double-thick Magnum-sized Trojan.
Now, we realize the Chargers were a nifty 14-2 last year. But that 14-2 record earned them all of a one-and-done home loss in the playoffs last year, and the continuation of a San Diego tradition that began with a 49-26 loss to San Francisco in Super Bowl XXIX.
Let’s put it this way. The last time San Diego won a playoff game:
- the internet and e-mail didn’t exist
- San Francisco was still a dynasty
- Bill Clinton still hadn't got a beaner in the Oval Office or bombed Europe without U.N. approval
- John Elway was the reigning QB “who couldn’t win the big game”
That’s a long time ago, folks.
Which brings us around to an irrefutable Cold, Hard Football Fact: San Diego is not among the AFC elite, at least not in the lofty realm inhabited by Indy, New England and Pittsburgh (and, if we're being generous, Denver ... but certainly not San Diego).
We got proof of San Diego’s un-elite status in Sunday night’s 38-14 loss to New England. The Patriots man-handled the Chargers more roughly than we do our little troll during a Jenna Jameson film festival.
It was that rough.
The Chargers won a lot of games last year. But they dumped their coach and replaced him with one of the worst in football. The Chargers supposedly have a lot of talent. But the cream of talent tends to rise to the top in January.
For all his dancing, we've yet to see Shawne Merriman win in January. For all his brilliance as one of the great players of our time, we've yet to see LaDainian Tomlinson win in January. And for all his accolades as a great coordinator, we've seen Norv Turner win just once as a head coach in January.
All of which should tell us something: San Diego is not as talented as the "pundits" would lead you to believe.
We’ll have much more on the statements and misstatements of Week 2 later on Monday.
But one of the biggest statements early here in 2007 is this: there are just three elite teams in the NFL.
And not one of them is from San Diego.
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