But here are some awards we'd like to see:
Most Average-tastic Player: Chad Pennington. For a 4-4 team, he's 14th out of 32 quarterbacks in passer rating, 12th in completion percentage and 15th in touchdowns.
Worst Coaching Job by a Future Hall of Famer: Bill Cowher. From letting Ben Roethlisberger play when he shouldn't to losing close games to abandoning the run (16th in rushing attempts), Cowher has been too much chin and not enough brain in 2006.
Best Rookie "-owski": Slight edge goes to Tampa Bay QB Bruce Gradkowski, who has only thrown one pick in five relief starts for the Bucs; Patriots kicker Stephen Gostkowski has been strong on kickoffs but is just 8-of-12 on field goals.
Best 46-Year-Old Danish-Born Left-Footed Kicker: Slight edge goes to Morten Andersen.
The "I Forgot to Wash My Hands After Eating Boneless Buffalo Wings" Award: Vikings receiver Troy Williamson, who leads the league in drops with nine despite just 25 catches (T.O. has eight drops but 44 grabs.)
Dog Hog Award: Although the Raiders are 30th in the Hog Index thanks to a respectable rushing average, any viewing of their games suggests that they might have the worst offensive line ever (44 sacks in 256 dropbacks). Blame 2005 No. 2 overall pick Robert Gallery, who joins Charles Rogers, Ryan Leaf, Blair Thomas, Tony Mandarich, Steve Niehaus and Bo Matthews in No. 2 Overall Hall of Shame.
Quietest Big Season: Green Bay defensive end Aaron Kampmann, who has 9.5 sacks and 44 tackles for a much-improved Packers defense.
The "Grass Is Only Good For Smoking" Award: The Saints' Deuce McAllister is averaging 5.5 yards a carry on turf (51 for 279), 3.3 yards on grass (60 for 208).
Eugene Chung Memorial Award: Hines Ward (half Korean) gets edged out by Scott Fujita of the Saints (55 tackles), who is 100-percent Caucasian but was adopted by a Japanese family and considers himself Japanese.
The Fourth Quarter Award: Falcons running back Jerious Norwood is 34th overall in rushing, but he has a league-high 268 yards in the fourth quarter.
The Meltdown Award: Jim Mora's "Playoffs! Playoffs?!" has officially been usurped by "They are who we thought they were! Now, if you wanna crown 'em, then crown their ass!" Thank you, Denny Green. Someone get that poor guy a Snickers.
(For the record, the Cold, Hard Football Facts define Herm Edwards' "Hello? You play to win the game!" as a lecture, not a meltdown.)
The Terrell Owens Memorial Horse's Ass of the Year Award: Terrell Owens.
Worst Player in the League: San Francisco defensive back Marcus Hudson. The 49ers defense is 32nd in points allowed and 29th in defensive passer rating. Hudson, a rookie, hasn't been able to get on the field in that incredibly bad secondary despite being active for all eight games. Hence, he is the worst player in the league. Sorry, dude. Prove us wrong.
George Seifert Memorial Coaching Award: Seifert was the winningest coach in NFL history when he left San Francisco. He left the sidelines for good following a 1-15 season with the 2001 Carolina Panthers, tying the record for most losses in a single season. Following in those footsteps, Jeff Fisher is 11-29 (.275) over the last three seasons with Tennessee after going 46-24 (.657) the previous five years (when he had talent).
