With the "important" week of preseason football having concluded, all that's left for NFL teams is one round of "my scrubs can beat your scrubs" before the real thing gets going after Labor Day.
Just as the power rankings didn't change much from offseason to training camp, the makeup of the Dominant Dozen didn't change much after a month of dress rehearsals. You can dispute the Cold, Hard Football Facts if you wish, but we will stick by this truth until the end of time: There are no quality wins in August.
Still, the optimism of fans in Washington, Buffalo and Green Bay has to be tempered a bit after the events of late summer. And interests are surely piqued in Miami and Cincinnati, where things are going ahead of schedule.
Remember, just because exhibition games don't count, that doesn't mean the whole process doesn't matter. It matters. But, like a garden salad at the start of a seven-course meal, it just doesn't matter much.
1. PITTSBURGH (previous rank: same)
Preseason storyline: Ben Roethlisberger looks a bit like Shannen Doherty after her latest round of plastic surgery, but he looks like the same old player with his helmet on. Concerned about the 0-3 record? Consider that fourth-string QB Shane Boyd is their leading passer (241 yards) AND rusher (72 yards). Wake the rest of the Steelers up when it's September.
Cold, Hard Football Facts: Super Bowl teams usually go through some offseason tumult, but not these guys – 21 of their 22 projected starters either started or played significant reserve snaps in a Steelers uniform last year. Only free safety Ryan Clark is new.
2. SEATTLE (previous rank: same)
Preseason storyline: All's been quiet in the land of rain and coffee, with the only significant twist during a 1-2 start occurring in tight end Jerramy Stevens' knee; he could miss the first four weeks of the season. Stevens plans to spend the time researching the correct spelling of his first name.
Cold, Hard Football Facts: Reserve Maurice Morris has averaged 4.7 yards a carry in his four seasons behind Shaun Alexander. Alexander has averaged 4.6 a carry over that same four-year span.
3. DENVER (previous rank: same)
Preseason storyline: Plenty of Mile High intrigue, with the annual birthing of a new 1,000-yard back (undrafted rookie Mike Bell tops the depth chart) and the eviction of soft-as-butter receiver Ashley Lelie. But the offensive line (best in the league, according to our
Hog Index) remains intact, and that's what really matters.
Cold, Hard Football Facts: The Broncos have had one of the top 10 scoring offenses in 10 of Mike Shanahan's 11 years as head coach.
4. INDIANAPOLIS (previous rank: same)
Preseason storyline: Who's going to replace Edgerrin James at running back? The Colts are still waiting to find out. Rookie Joseph Addai has averaged 1.5 yards a carry and veteran Dominic Rhodes checks in at 2.7 a tote. James has been less impressive in Arizona, with seven carries for one yard, adding credence to the "everyone's a loser" theory.
Cold, Hard Football Facts: The Colts' exhibition win over the Saints Saturday night was their first since August of 2004; they had lost seven straight in the preseason before that 27-14 victory in Mississippi.
5. CAROLINA (previous rank: same)
Preseason storyline: The Panthers have had a perfect 3-0 preseason, but they have to be troubled by the tweaked hamstring of WR Steve Smith.
Cold, Hard Football Facts: Smith was the ultimate road warrior for the Panthers last year. He had 62 catches for 958 yards and nine TDs in his eight regular-season road trips, as opposed to 41-605-3 at home.
6. NEW ENGLAND (previous rank: 7)
Preseason storyline: Deion Branch's lingering holdout has overshadowed back-to-back exhibition blowouts for the Patriots. Coming a week after a 27-point win over Arizona, the 41-point victory over Washington was the most lopsided preseason result since a 52-13 Dallas win over Oakland in the final week of the 2003 season.
Cold, Hard Football Facts: Troy Brown's 1,199-yard season in 2001 is the only 1,000-yard receiving season during Bill Belichick's six-year tenure. Branch fell two yards shy in 2005.
7. KANSAS CITY (previous rank: 8)
Preseason storyline: Befitting the lack of respect given to offensive linemen, barely a ripple was made when the Chiefs suffered the most significant loss of the exhibition season: left tackle Willie Roaf's unexpected retirement. In the four seasons before Roaf came to Kansas City, the team finished 14th, 9th, 9th and 16th in scoring. In his four seasons with the Chiefs, they were 1st, 1st, 2nd and 4th.
Cold, Hard Football Facts: The Chiefs hope age is just a number in their secondary. Projected starters Ty Law, Greg Wesley, Patrick Surtain and Sammy Knight have an average age of 30.5.
8. WASHINGTON (previous rank: 6)
Preseason storyline: No team has had a worse preseason than Washington, which got outscored 87-17 in three losses and is awaiting the status of Clinton Portis' shoulder injury. Take heart, 'Skinheads: Last year's winless exhibition teams (Chiefs and Colts) combined to go 24-8 in the regular season.
Cold, Hard Football Facts: Joe Gibbs was known for his "Smurfs" back in the Super Bowl days, and he's not changing his tune much a generation later. All of the Redskins' wide receivers are six feet or under.
9. MIAMI (previous rank: 11)
Preseason storyline: New QB Daunte Culpepper continued to heal faster than all expectations, and he has turned in a nifty 93.5 passer rating over 30 attempts.
Cold, Hard Football Facts: Returner Wes Welker achieved a unique statistical feat last year. After returning 61 kicks and 43 punts for the Dolphins in 2004, he came back in 2005 to return ... exactly 61 kicks and 43 punts. Call Rod Serling.
10. JACKSONVILLE (previous rank: 9)
Preseason storyline: Everything was going fine for the Jaguars until last Saturday, when they lost fullback Greg Jones for the season and middle linebacker Mike Peterson, their defensive leader, for up to a month.
Cold, Hard Football Facts: In 10 years as the Jags' No. 1 receiver, Jimmy Smith's worst season was 54 catches, in 2003. The only player on the Jags roster to ever have as many as 50 catches in a season is tight end Kyle Brady (64 in 2000).
11. TAMPA BAY (previous rank: 10)
Preseason storyline: There's nothing sexy happening in Tampa, but you can't say coach Jon Gruden isn't working hard. Eight different Bucs had carries in their most recent preseason game, and 13 different players caught passes.
Cold, Hard Football Facts: Although Chris Simms has the QB job to himself, backup Tim Rattay has an 81.6 passer rating over 586 pass attempts, better than Simms' 78.1 over 386 attempts.
12. N.Y. GIANTS (previous rank: same)
Preseason storyline: The best defense of the preseason has been Big Blue's (an average of 7.7 points allowed in their 3-0 start), but big free-agent signing LaVar Arrington has been in and out with knee problems.
Cold, Hard Football Facts: Tiki Barber's two-year total of 4,486 yards from scrimmage in 2004-05 is third all-time, behind Marshall Faulk's 1998-99 (4,656) and 1999-2000 (4,618).
Best of the Rest:
13. CINCINNATI (15) — 3 TDs for QB Palmer in return
14. SAN DIEGO (13) — QB Rivers' rating: 84.8
15. CHICAGO (14) — RBs Jones + Benson = 3 preseason yards
16. DALLAS (16) — 3-0 without T.O.
17. PHILADELPHIA (17) — New WR Donté trails John by 342 catches on Stallworth list
18. ATLANTA (18) — Schaubby preseason for backup QB Matt (56.0 rating)
19. BALTIMORE (20) — QB McNair: 31-40, 19 yards rushing
20. ST. LOUIS (21) — Actual quote from QB Bulger: "It's the preseason. Who cares?"
21. CLEVELAND (22) — C. Frye solid with 85.4 passer rating; he's still no F. Bueller
22. MINNESOTA (19) — No. 1 pick on IR (LB Greenway); No. 1 wideout cut (K. Robinson)
23. ARIZONA (23) — QB Leinart: 86.6 rating, 45 yards rushing
24. NEW ORLEANS (24) — 13.3 ppg in preseason; RB Bush averaging 5.5 yards a touch
25. OAKLAND (27) — 4-0 record good; Jeff George signing ...
26. N.Y. JETS (28) — Pennington "wins" job with 60.8 rating, 0 TDs
27. BUFFALO (26) — Including 0-3 preseason, 2-11 in last 13
28. GREEN BAY (27) — 31-point loss to Bengals on MNF stings
29. DETROIT (29) — Mike Martz's offense still in flux: 13.0 ppg
30. SAN FRANCISCO (30) — Rice re-retires a Niner; he had 645 yards rushing in career
31. TENNESSEE (31) — New QB Collins ready to throw (six straight years of 500+ passes)
32. HOUSTON (32) — No. 1 pick Mario Williams sackless
