Remember when pigskin "pundits" used to spend their days whining about the evil specter of parity that had stripped the league of identifiable dominant dinosaurs, not to mention a certain amount of charisma?
Don't hear much of that talk lately, do you?
The truth is that, over the past decade, it's been a league of haves and have nots. And you could argue that it's been decades since the distance between the powerhouses and the peons was as vast as it is today: teams like the Giants, Saints, Colts and Broncos look virtually unbeatable and statistically dominant in many areas. Teams like the Browns, Chiefs, Rams, Raiders and Lions look as hopeless and as statistically dysfunctional as any teams in recent memory.
Even the second-tier powers right now, we're talking the Jets, Patriots, Ravens and Eagles of the world, would crush the bottom feeders.
Whether it's good for the NFL or not, we don't know. But it sure as hell makes those death pools easy.
1. NEW YORK GIANTS (4-0). Last week: 27-16 win at Kansas City. The Giants outgained Kansas City 359-91 through three quarters and led 27-3. The week before, they had outgained Tampa 235-35 through three quarters. In other words, bad teams aren't even in the same league with the G-Men right now.
2. NEW ORLEANS (4-0). Last week: 24-10 win vs. NY Jets. The Giants and Saints are kind of 1 and 1A – if we believed in ties, they'd be tied. Both have been dominant on both sides of the ball, both are unbeaten. But don't fret – after New Orleans' bye week, it's Giants at Saints in Week 6 in a battle of unbeatens that will settle it. Oh, what's that you say? The Giants could lose this week? Sure they could ... if Oakland wins at the Meadowlands, which would probably rank as one of the 10 biggest regular-season upsets of the millennium.
3. INDIANAPOLIS (4-0). Last week: 34-17 win vs. Seattle. Colts DEs Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis each have five sacks this year. Since the start of 2004, the less-heralded Mathis has more sacks (55-51) and forced fumbles (30-23).
4. DENVER (4-0). Last week: 17-10 win vs. Dallas. Denver's pass defense has been excellent (56.0 defensive passer rating), but they've also played bad pass offenses (a collective 64.7 rating when the Denver games are removed). But the run defense is exceptionally good -- their four opponents have averaged 3.2 YPA against Denver, 4.8 YPA against everyone else.
5. MINNESOTA (4-0). Last week: 30-23 win vs. Green Bay. The Vikings have scored 34, 27, 27 and 30 in their four wins – they only scored 27+ points 16 times in the three previous seasons. Maybe Brett Favre deserves a little (gulp) credit from a certain
annoying web publisher who has a hair across his ass?
6. NEW YORK JETS (3-1). Last week: 24-10 loss at New Orleans. The Jets' secondary made it 4-for-4 against opposing QBs, shutting down Drew Brees in the dome. New York's defensive passer rating is 56.4 ... and the quarterbacks they've faced have a rating of 98.4 when you take the Jet games out of the mix. Basically, QBs go from being Tom Brady to JaMarcus Russell when the Jets take the field. That is just plain incredible, folks.
7. NEW ENGLAND (3-1). Last week: 27-21 win vs. Baltimore. The record is nice, and so are two Quality Wins, but the Patriots surrender more yards per play on defense (5.4) than they gain on offense (5.2). That's a thin wire to walk going forward.
8. BALTIMORE (3-1). Last week: 27-21 loss at New England. The Ravens are on pace to pick up 424 first downs, which would top the record set by the 2004 Kansas City Chiefs (398). But they'll have to do it against iron: Baltimore has six games left against teams that are currently 3-1 or 4-0, plus a pair against the Steelers.
9. SAN FRANCISCO (3-1). Last week: 35-0 win vs. St. Louis. If you define "blowout win" as being by 20+ points, this was the first romp for the Niners since December of 2003, when Jeff Garcia ran for two scores and passed for four in a 50-14 win over Arizona.
10. PHILADELPHIA (2-1). Last week: Bye. The Eagles will probably run their record to 4-1, with their next two vs. Tampa and at Oakland, but that'll be the end of the fun; their last 11 opponents are all at least .500 right now.
11. CINCINNATI (3-1). Last week: 23-20 (OT) win at Cleveland. Nobody's buying what the Bengals are selling right now, but only a miracle play by the unbeaten Broncos in Week 1 keeps Cincy from the ranks of the unbeaten themselves. The Bengals don't really stand out in any one area, with one exception – they are 7-of-8 on fourth down conversions.
12. PITTSBURGH (2-2). Last week: 38-28 win vs. San Diego. The Steelers' defense isn't close to the numbers from its 2008 title run. The 2008 team allowed 13.9 PPG and 3.9 YPP. The 2009 team allows 19.5 PPG and 5.0 YPP.
13. CHICAGO (3-1). Last week: 48-24 win vs. Detroit. TE Greg Olsen was supposed to break out with Jay Cutler at QB, but he's been a bust in the passing game. He's been targeted 25 times with only 10 completions and 94 yards.
14. GREEN BAY (2-2). Last week: 30-23 loss at Minnesota. The Packers easily outgained the Vikings Monday night (424-334) but lost the game. Dating back to the start of the Aaron Rodgers era, Green Bay is now 5-6 when outgaining its opponent. On the bright side, they are undefeated when outscoring their opponent over that span ... but then again so is everyone else.
15. DALLAS (2-2). Last week: 17-10 loss at Denver. What has happened to DeMarcus Ware? Four games without a sack is not just uncommon, it's unheard of. He's the most consistent sacker in the league – he had sacks in 14 of 16 games last year and 12 of 16 games in 2008.
16. ATLANTA (2-1). Last week: bye. Coach Mike Smith has been in the NFL as an assistant and head coach since 1999; his teams are 95-68 with an average scoring defense rank of 9th. If his name was Maximus Smallhaven, he'd probably be famous by now.
17. JACKSONVILLE (2-2). Last week: 37-17 win vs. Tennessee. The Jags looked like a dead team after their home loss to Arizona in Week 2. Since then, they've scored 68 points and forced five turnovers – and there's more good news. They have what looks to be the easiest schedule in the NFL the rest of the way, with their opponents fielding a collective record of 18-30 right now.
18. SAN DIEGO (2-2). Last week: 38-28 loss to Pittsburgh. The Chargers were 5th in scoring defense during Norv Turner's first year (2007), 15th in scoring defense last year, and they stand 24th this year. By 2011, they' be No. 42.
19. ARIZONA (1-2). Last week: Bye. The Cardinals web site features a full-screen promo in block letters for pimping the Houston game this week: TICKETS ARE STILL AVAILABLE! The Cards haven't been blacked out since University of Phoenix Stadium opened in 2006.
20. HOUSTON (2-2). Last week: 29-6 win vs. Oakland. A 23-point win looks nice on the scoreboard, but going 3 for 16 on third downs against the Raiders isn't much to write home about.
21. MIAMI (1-3). Last week: 38-10 win vs. Buffalo. The Dolphins reached for Ted Ginn at No. 7 in the 2007 draft hoping for big plays, but they haven't come. He's touched the ball 246 times in three seasons and has seven touchdowns to show for it.
22. WASHINGTON (2-2). Last week: 17-13 win vs. Tampa Bay. They didn't pay DT Albert Haynesworth $100 million for stats, but they were probably hoping for more than seven solo tackles and one sack through four games.
23. SEATTLE (1-3). Last week: 34-17 loss at Indianapolis. Team nickname is "Seahawks" in case you've never heard of this identity-less club.
24. TENNESSEE (0-4). Last week: 37-17 loss at Jacksonville. Only the 1992 Chargers have started 0-4 and made the playoffs. So it can be done ... if the Titans can upset the Colts and Patriots over the next two weeks.
25. BUFFALO (1-3). Last week: 38-10 loss at Miami. Coach Dick Jauron has had one winning season and no playoff wins entering his 10th year as a head honcho. He must be an awfully nice man.
26. CAROLINA (0-3). Last week: Bye. If it's going to happen for the Panthers, it starts this week with their easiest stretch of the season – vs. Washington, at Tampa, vs. Buffalo.
28. KANSAS CITY (0-4). Last week: 27-16 loss vs. NY Giants. The Chiefs offense is just stupefyingly bad on third down – 9 for 51 (17.7 percent). To put that in perspective, the worst third-down offense of the past decade was the 2005 49ers, who averaged 24 percent success.
29. OAKLAND (1-3). Last week: 29-6 loss at Houston. Just plea bargain, baby!
30. CLEVELAND (0-4). Last week: 23-20 (OT) loss vs. Cincinnati. Josh Cribbs is on pace for 3,052 all-purpose yards, which would shatter the all-time record set by Derrick Mason in 2000 (2,690).
31. TAMPA BAY (0-4). Last week: 17-13 loss at Washington. The oddest part about Tampa's futility is that they really were a pretty good little team last year. Not only did they go 9-7, but they were over .500 against Quality Opponents (4-3) – more than the Super Bowl teams from Arizona (2-6) and Pittsburgh (4-4) could say.
32. ST. LOUIS (0-4). Last week: 35-0 loss at San Francisco. If you're keeping score at home, the Rams are 5-31 since the start of 2007, the worst performance by any NFL team over that span (the Chiefs are 6-30; the Lions are a stellar 8-28).
