THIS WEEK:

- Dolphins dudes

- Michael's mess

- Blitz Bits

 

Former Miami Dolphins star Mercury Morris discussed last week Indy’s attempt to register an undefeated season.

 

"Whether they win or whether they lose, that still doesn't change who (the '72 Dolphins) are,” said Morris, a member of that team (pictured here). “We're the first team to go undefeated and so far, we're the only team to go undefeated." 

 

Of course, the Colts lost to San Diego Sunday, so the Dolphins remain the only NFL team to go through an entire season without a loss. Much has been made of the '72 team's effort to cling to their unique status. The players annually have a champagne toast when the last undefeated NFL team suffers a loss. This perceived arrogance has made the '72 Dolphins as unpopular now as they were popular then. Morris doesn't help the cause.

 

"If (the Colts) do it, they will be the other team that did it," he said last week on Fox. "We already did it. We're in the house. Everybody else has to wonder like Wonder Bread and Wonderland. We're the only team who knows."

 

Frankly, I question the media's abhorrence of the old Dolphins. What exactly is wrong with a bunch of elderly men drinking and talking out of their asses? Doesn't this describe most of the population of Florida anyway? The fact is that, in this age of false heroes, the 1972 Dolphins are the real deal.

 

They are not Terrell Owens, who crows as if he's won 10 championships, but has won none. They are not the Raiders, whose ancient commitment to excellence has become more of a commitment to flatulence.

 

Most of all, they are not Peyton Manning's Indianapolis Colts, who, despite a 13-1 season, a record-setting quarterback and the seemingly unending adoration of the media, have won squat. You wouldn't know it to listen to Jason Whitlock of ESPN's "The Sports Reporters." On Sunday, Whitlock stated, "(Colts GM) Bill Polian, in the salary cap era, has built the best team we've seen." 

 

Hmm, so according to Whitlock, 13 regular season wins in one of football's weakest divisions and a series of playoff flops trumps three Super Bowl titles. Please. Until Manning holds a couple of Lombardi Trophies to go with his pocketful of passing records, these Colts mean absolutely nothing historically.

 

This past week, HBO's "Inside the NFL" featured former host and 1972 Dolphins linebacker Nick Buoniconti rambling on about his old team as the show's credits rolled. One by one, his fellow hosts left the set in joking boredom as he rambled on. It was a funny piece, but underneath was the truth.

 

Head coach Don Shula and players like Dick Anderson, Jake Scott, Larry Csonka, Bob Griese, Manny Fernandez and the rest of the perfect Dolphins can drink all they want and rag on anyone. For one more season anyway, they are the best team in the history of the NFL. I don't care about their opponents' records or if they only played 17 games including playoffs.

 

 The 1976 Raiders (13-1) got pummeled by the Patriots, 48-17. Dan Marino's off-the-helmet pass helped Miami hang 38 on the famous 1985 Bears defense and deliver that team its only loss. The 1972 Dolphins encountered no such stumbling blocks.

They may be insufferable, but they walked the walk. Let them talk the talk.

 

In light of his most recent drug-related brush with the law, it's easy to criticize ESPN's Michael Irvin and call him to the carpet for hypocritical statements. Easy, and so much fun.

 

Regarding the recent charges against several Minnesota players for their involvement in the party cruise scandal, Irvin said, "I used to think the football field is my sanctuary. I was wrong. That is not the truth. When you go through practice and you come in the locker room and you have an off-the-field incident, all other people are asking you about what happened with the incident.

 

"So when you should be reviewing what happened in practice, or on Saturday night before the game, when you should be previewing what you're about to do in the game, all you are watching on TV is what happened off the football field.  I'm telling you – not something I heard – something I know, this affects you and it will affect them today on that football field."

 

These words of wisdom would be acceptable coming from an ex-player who had off-field problems and has put them behind him (see the aforementioned Mercury Morris, who had his own drug issues and spent time in prison because of them, but has turned his life around to become a motivational speaker). But from Irvin, they ring hollow. Irvin is just as much of a screw-up today as he was in his Dallas playing days.

 

"I've never seen any coach lose a football team and regain it in the same season," Irvin said about Minnesota coach Mike Tice. "Usually, it takes an off-season to get everything back in order, but he got with Brad Johnson. He does deserve a great deal of credit." Irvin admitted that earlier in the season he said that Tice had lost his team. Again, the issue is credibility. It's guys like Irvin that create the problems that cause a coach to lose his team.

 

Irvin also spouted off on the Colts now-defunct drive for a perfect season: "Ultimately, every team starts with an opportunity for greatness. Winning the Super Bowl is greatness. (An undefeated season) is the ultimate greatness. 

 

"When we won three (Super Bowls) in four years, I said it'll never be done again in these years with free agency. That's been done. Let me talk straight to Peyton here. You're a historian. Nobody has led their team from the beginning of the season to a Super Bowl championship. Hands down, you'll become the greatest quarterback of all time. Don't you let no one rob you of that opportunity."

 

First of all, Manning shouldn't let "anyone" rob him of that opportunity, not "no one." Butchering the English language aside, who the hell is Michael Irvin to talk straight to anyone? He's made too many mistakes and has failed to learn from those mistakes.

 

Furthermore, his quote is inane. Has Irvin forgotten about former Dolphins quarterback Bob Griese? He already did what Manning was attempting to do. And as for that "greatest quarterback of all time" crap, give me a break. Undefeated or not, Manning has some work to do to pass the likes of Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana, Roger Staubach, John Elway and about half a dozen other guys, including Tom Brady.

 

Simply put, Irvin is a cartoon of the typical player-turned-broadcaster, the jockocracy that the late Howard Cosell so often lamented. Let me talk straight to Michael Irvin. You have no business sitting behind a major network anchor desk. You have not earned the right to tell any current player anything. You have embarrassed your station with your unprofessional actions. Take a long break. I understand that the Michael Irvin Happy Hour has just begun at all Dallas Residence Inns.

 

ESPN's "Monday Night Countdown" (7:30 p.m.) will feature a “Playbook” segment on Tom Brady, an overview of New England’s turnaround and an “Inside Slant” feature with Patriots receiver Deion Branch.

 

Colts fan or not, you have to credit Tony Dungy with being uniquely personable and thoughtful. In the wake of Dungy's son James' untimely death, heartfelt condolences and prayers go out to the classy coach and his family.